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Hey doctors, is it okay for me to never sleep and never go to bed and never feel rested and never feel content? Thank you, doc.

Me

I don't think any honestly

we need healing magic now

hey guys, wanted to say thank you for letting me be insane online. it's been an incredible outlet for me

I don't remember following you, but yw

Grown from the ground like a potato more likely

MY OVARIES!!!!!!

Our*

THEYRE COMMUNIZING MY FUCKING OVARIES!!!!!!!!

Our*

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FUCKING OVARIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our*

I DO NOT CONSENT TO YOU COMMUNIZING MY FUCKING OVARIES!!!!!!

Our*

you know what. i may be getting jumped by tumblrians but at least i have my clownfish. its me and you against the world buddy

Our clownfish

I CANT HAVE ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKIBG WORLD

9 out of 10 flightless birds are not to be fucked with. All animals have fight or flight and those fuckers don't fly. Their panic button only has one option and it's to kick the shit out of you.

The other 10% would be stupid easy to punt straight off the continent. Kicking one of them things would be so easy you'd do it by accident and then feel real bad about it.

I wouldn't feel bad.

How's the dental?

you can have all the teeth you can carry

Am I to assume arms will be provided for those without any then?

*aborted line cook voice* i'd go smoke in the alley... if i existed

Read this as abortion line cook. I don't even know what that would mean

Four hours until I need to get up to get ready for work. Incapable of sleep. Only solution: look at the hell site. Allow the dissonant screams to wash over me like a lullaby to a newborn's tiny ears

Still not asleep

has anyone ever actually seen a shareholder or are we just supposed to believe they actually exist

They're in my stew

it's kind of fucked up that pig is an insult considering that the pig is a humble and virtuous beast

Wrong. Gluttonous swine.

My mobile hotspot is called domain expansion internet, and if my friends want to use it they have to do the hand motions and declare, "DOMAIN EXPANSION: INTERNET!!!" in the middle of public

I'm laying in bed and I'm very cozy. I'm so cozy I could lay here for. well I could lay here for the entire night quite happily

Try closing your eyes!! You may hallucinate cool stuff and wake up feeling refreshed!

DONT DO IT FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HORRORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going to the dentist is such an embarrassing experience. Sorry that my tongue is in the way. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for having a tongue

Foolish mistake. Lop it off for the stew.