r.n

Have you ever felt defeated in life? like you’re not sad but not happy as well.

Recently I feel like I am not living my life enough. My worries are keeping me from enjoying life and I constantly find myself unable to move and at lost. Maybe it was because my plans and expectations didn’t happen and I don’t know what I should do next.

I know that this is just a phase and it will soon pass. And that better days will come and everything will be okay. 

Have you listened to Taeyang and Jimin’s collaboration song?

Aside from their amazing voices together, I really liked how the MV turned out. I think that the use of lights is a brilliant idea, one that is so appropriate for the whole theme of the song. You know when lights can definitely change the mood or ambiance of a place depending on the color or whether it is steady or strobing. It communicated the lyrics and beat of the song just by controlling the lighting (incredible, right?) . It also goes well with the title, which is ‘Vibe’ meaning something that is expressed and felt by others. 

 Last night I watched the Pixar movie, Soul. The plot tackles life’s purpose, and I cried because the message was so beautiful. 

 Sometimes, we get lost in the meaning of purpose and passion. We often think that our reason for living should be grand, and we tend to be obsessed more with reaching a goal that we believe is our purpose. But because of this, we become disconnected from actually living our life. 

Lately, I’ve been lonely and anxious about my future.

I’ve recently graduated from college with an honor, but despite that I still feel hopeless. Maybe it’s because most of my batchmates already started working and I still don’t know what to do next in my life. Although no one is pressuring me I still feel pressured (probably by myself). I always try to look for a job but nothing seems to be the right one for me. What’s worse is that my fears and sadness seems to be accentuated every night, and because of that I find it hard to sleep. 

I know that I should trust myself and the timing of the universe that everything will work out just fine, but I can’t help it.