King of Explodo Kills

Riley is barely 18 when she is abducted and for 12 years she is forced to keep having babies, all leading to miscarriages and still births. Mia and her husband tried for several years but could never have children of their own, and so she poured her insecurities into finding her sister. She calls Riley "my baby!" When she finds her again. To Mia, Riley isn't a person with her own autonomy, shes someone she has to mother and parent. The woman in the woods forced her son to keep having children over and over again to produce the baby that she wants. He even says "she finally let me go" and at first I thought the "she" might have been the demon until I realized it was the mom. The only one who benefits from the entire ordeal is Tarion, He got what he wanted, a new child to raise and feed off of, Riley and the ex-prisoner were just vessels to get the baby and the person he actually wanted to watch over the baby the entire time was Mia, who has everything a baby needs to thrive.

He was not taught empathy in med school, he was taught how to excel at tests. I would actually have been more worried about him if he had made this patients death about him- he showed me promise that he felt lost and confused, that he took responsibility because it would have been so easy for him not to do that. His mistakes are due to carelessness, and he got it thrown right back at him. Like Joy, maybe emergency medicine isn't for him, and thats okay, but he needed a real lesson in empathy and I genuinely felt like he had been able to learn something by the end of his shift.

Everyone is upset that he just gets to go home but thats the reality of these doctors, they get to go home- and that sucks because their patients sometimes dont. I think he feels immense anguish and shame and I would rather he feel that than pretend like everything is fine- that in the long run will make him a better doctor.

We all experience our lives through personal lenses that make us forget that we're just a piece, and thats okay. This is one emergency room in one hospital in one city among thousands of others and the world doesn't run on one person's efforts- it runs on all of our effort. Does the world suck? Yes! Are institutions unfair and can be cprrupt- of course!!! But that doesn't mean they get to take our souls and our humanity, our free will- we can decide what we can put up with, we can decide what we're willing to take and if you need to just stop and sit down- thats okay too. Ive been there, hitting my head against that brick wall for months and months until clarity came with a single moment where I realized that I get to decide that I am tired of crying, of hurting, of being told what to do. Leaving what you feel like is your life (job, religion, institution) can be so, so hard, and thats okay because maybe there is something better on the other side and the world will keep going on and on- and you can know that its okay.

The Pitt is not about being fantastic doctors and nurses, its about being human and being forced to decide what you can and cant handle and sometimes the burden is too heavy and you have to take it off, but no one has the right to tell you that you cant, wven yourself. Being human means that we're not perfect, and the world is not perfect, and everyone deserves to give themselves grace to figure things out.

1. Can't let herself believe that Benedict could truly love her because she thinks she's unlovable

2. Can't even be honest with her own friends about her personal feelings and thoughts

3. Doesn't understand why Violet is so kind to her even after getting tossed in prison

4. Never thought to question Amarita lying because she had been so beaten down and "didnt think that she would lie"

5. Understood Benedict's intense loneliness spurned by his status and position, seeing right through him because she sees herself in hiding behind massive walls to protect herself

6. Continues to apologize for literally just existing

7. When she was thrown out of Penwood, she begged to not be and even was willing to suffer even more just because she was forced to be so scared of the world that she'd rather be beaten down by Amarita than the world

8. Described her time at My Cottage as the greatest week of her life because for the first time in her entire life she was free, happy and safe.

Making Amends is about acknowledging the harm that the person with the addition might have caused. Step 9 is NOT about forgiveness- it is about being honest and taking accountability- Langdon has not allowed himself to make excuses, or take what he did lightly, he has not avoided confrontation at all.

Robby does NOT owe him forgivness, that is fair to say, but what Robby does NOT need to do is hurt him. Step 9 is Robby's chance to get his grievances out, to tell Frank how he felt about everything that happened, how it is hard for him to trust Frank and that he feels uncomfortable having him back- ALL VALID!! What he cannot do is tell Frank he doesn't belong!!

Robby does not have the right to judge Frank, he does not have the right to decide that he can be a doctor and he does not get to tell Frank that he does not want him there. The medical board and the hospital are the ones holding Frank accountable for what he did. He followed the process, he went through rehab, he has taken full responsibility for what he did.

Usually I just have been focusing on Langdon but this episode got me with my thoughts:

1. How have i never seen Robby's tattoo on the inside of his right wrist? Its an F from the periodic table for Flurione, which is capable of mixing with almost any element there is and is primarily used in medicine????

2. Langdon defending himself about the sepsis patient and Dana defending him, he has made mistakes in the past but he has shown that he is a good doctor and is trying to make up for the past.

3. I think that Joy is wanting to go into PT or pathology, and her dislike for watching patients die explains her lack of involvement in her er rotation and also explains her getting upset about the motorcycle patient earlier

4. I like the frank conversation about the costs of going to the hospital, that yes, Healthcare costs can be ridiculous and the system is broken, but there are hundreds of programs, sacrificing your health because you are worried about cost isnt feasible either.

5. Last season a man was brought in and his kids had to let him go- this really broke me because I was in this exact situation with my own father when he was in the hospital and it was my job to make that final decision. And now this season we have a mother dying from cancer who is in hospice being taken care of by her husband- literally the exact same situation my own mother was in when she was given a terminal diagnosis- so the Pitt is going to make me cry over that again this year woohooooo