just for her // forever ago

Dawg this just warmed my chest!!! Congratulations you two!

trying to hurt me or make me jealous isn’t a way to get my attention. that’s how you get treated like you don’t exist

Flippin cool. That is all.

What are you talking about thats a fucking whale

@mongoose-bite

i cannot get over how well this looks for as brightly lit a room they are in!!! usually you need absolute darkness to make something this realistic

THE FUTURE IS NOW AND DREAMS ARE REAL LONG LIVE HOLOWHALES

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

That last story is worth reblogging

all stories in here are worth reblogging. these are all amazing

you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

i can’t believe i really get to spend my whole life loving women. i really don’t have to end up with a man. thank god!! thank fucking god