Can I Go Sleep Now?

Gustave was an engineering PhD student when there was a lab accident. He lost his arm, and twenty other people were killed in the fire that burned down the building. Overcome with immense survivor’s guilt, he almost lost himself while he was still recovering in the hospital. But Emma got him a job as lighting engineer at the opera house, and he slowly discovered his new passions.

John and Arthur.

In quite literally every other shared-body story in the history of mankind, working together in tandem with each other would be one of the very first things attempted.

Sure we have “ORTHUR, Jesus Christ orthur they’re dead. They’re all dead. FUCK orthur, it’s Thomas the Tank Engine. He’s staring at you orthur. There’s blood everywhere- WE NEED TO GO-“ etc etc, but that doesn’t count. They fail every single Quick Time event that crosses their path because sometimes John will deliver information, sometimes Arthur will make an action, and neither will happen at the same time.

They both act like they’re just standing very close to one another. They have the problem solving capabilities of two people losing a three legged race.

They are tasked with minding a lighthouse flame upon pain of mysterious and creepy monster-death and god forbid BOTH of them pitch in at the same time. Could you imagine either of them being that reasonable? Their hearts would give out under the strain.

Instead tweedlestupid with one hand and zero eyes minds the light while tweedlestupider with one hand and two eyes dedicates every sense available to the crusade of maintaining their back and forth pre/post/current divorce level bitching.

But even before that, the way they chose to tackle the feat of driving was as insane as it was hilarious. That’s when I knew they were incurable morons and deserved to be stitched together on the celestial plane for the rest of their arcane lives.

John and Arthur.

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME