the adventures of Josh and Kat

So I’m over at Josh’s and we’re laying on the couch.

I look over at him

-poke-

J: yes dear?

K: can we um watch anime

J: (smiles and laughs) you’re like the only girl I know who wants to watch anime

K: dork. Can we watch it please?

J: James ( his friend, met once) would be thrilled to hear that.

“Because you funny, amazing, smart, beautiful, awesome, need I go on?”

“Yes”

So today, I decided that I wanted ice cream. I look over to josh.

-poke-

-he looks over- “yes dear”

“Are you craving ice cream?” -pouty face-

“Not particularly-”

-I pout more-

“But, I’m always up for some junk food”

-fist pump- “yes!”

So we hop in my car, he lets me drive 0.0

We walk into Kroger, walk around completely lost trying to find the ice cream. We finally find it after looking at false aisles. We pick out chocolate peanut butter cup. #yum

So josh and I decided to go to the movies after school. So we bicker back and forth about different things. When we finally get there, I told him that he shouldn’t be able to pick me up (He very much can). And he said that he can and will prove it again. So he picks me up, chest to chest. Like how you would hold a child almost. I have my legs wrapped around him. I like this. I like being carried by him. It makes me feel delicate and small.

He sets me down, much to my disappointment, and says I’ll give you a piggyback ride. I deny it because I’m not hopping onto his back. My mass x gravity will equal a force and a momentum that will send us both crashing.

So this ass walks me over to a piller/post thingy with a flat top big enough to put a butt on. So he lifts me up and sets me down on it. He turns around, wraps my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck and lifts me. I’m a giggling mess. Passerby’s are smiling and staring.

I asked to be set down. I thought he was going to set me down slowly like a normal human being. But my dork decides that he’s going to be the Flash and rocket me down. He’s also extremely taller than me. My legs don’t reach that far. I didn’t have time to let go of him. I fell. He fell...

on top...

of my ankle...

IT FUCKING HURT

don’t get me wrong I will still like to be picked up but not piggy backed. He feels incredibly bad about it. I’m fine. Ankle is a little sore and hurts to walk on but it’s not broken... I think....

We saw the movie. Went back to school to get my car. Said our long goodbyes that consist of me not wanting to leave his embrace and him not wanting to let go. But, because I live with orthodox parents I have a curfew at 10.

I’m driving home, stuck behind a guy going 30 in a 40. I don’t mind it. But, apparently the guy behind me. With the FUCKING LED headlights couldn’t stand it. The fucker thought it was me. So he’s flashing me. He’s in a SUV I’m driving a low to the ground Acura. His headlights are directly in my eyes. Whoever thinks it’s funny to flash someone, especially if they are in a lower car than you and there is someone in front of them going slower. It’s not a funny, it’s extremely annoying and extremely dangerous. I was blinded multiple times during my drive thanks to this idiot.

So anyways I make it home and my ankle is kinda hurting but it’s alright been through worse. So I hobble to the door, unlock it, shut it, lock it, takes shoes off, bathroom trip, then climb upstairs. This proved horrible. It hurts a lot.

So today, Josh and I are cuddling in his backseat. It’s after class, slightly chilly but nothing overly cold. His head is on my lap. I’m playing with his hair. I’m pulling slightly every once in a while. I can feel his smirk in my lap.

I look down and the back of his neck is completely exposed. I smirk. I’m thinking to myself I wonder what would happen if I did this....

I lick my finger and slide it down his neck. My head is leaning over his(that’s my mistake). His head rockets up. His thick skull collided with my nose. I yelp in shock and in slight pain.

He turns around, he feels like no pain, he looks mortified. I’m laughing. He’s looking at my face and nose, making sure he didn’t crack anything.

Josh: I’m so sorry. Are you okay?!

Me: (laughing) I’m fine as long as I’m not bleeding.

There’s no blood, luckily.

Josh: I wasn’t not expecting that.

Me: I wanted to see what would happen.

By this time I’m laughing so hard I’m snorting because his face is priceless. He has that face of ‘I stepped on my pet now let me love you’ but in a girlfriend and boyfriend type way. He looks like a sad puppy.

I cuddle up to him still laughing, and I say I’m fine the pain is already subsiding.

So Josh and I are spending the whole day together. We drive all around town. We stop at the pet store so I can look at the fishies, the kitties, and the flying dinosaurs.

We make a pit stop at the Wally-mart, I lose the boy. So I wander around for a minute before heading to the technology section. I just play with the laptops and the games they have out. My little shit comes out of bumfuck nowhere and scares the crap out of me.

So around 8pm we decide we want pizza. So we go to marco’s pizza. We order a medium pizza (about 8 slices) we finish almost the whole pizza besides one slice. Don’t judge we were hungry. And we’re talking. And I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about but I say:

“ after we did the deed”

He smirks. I say:

“And little man tried to plant his seed.”

And Incase you have no idea about puns, little man for us stands for dick/penis.

He smirks and says while putting his pizza down.

“That was smooth and you know it.”

I laugh because I’m a little blind in that situation and didn’t realize it.

So on Friday I had to work at my boring job at a boring company that has many problems. Josh had to drop his grandma at his aunts house per his grandma’s request. So he tells me he’s leaving the house and on his way to his aunt’s, normally he will text me when he gets there.

This little shit doesn’t this time. So it’s been about two hours since I heard from him and I start to worry that something bad happened or he lost his phone...again.

So I’m helping customers and blah blah blah and I see this guy in a black blazer and khaki pants trying to scan something and I’m trying not to laugh because it’s absolutely hilarious. So I go over and help this poor guy. And my little shit says “why hello there beautiful” I felt so bad I didn’t realize it was him.

So He gets his stuff and goes back out to his car. A few hours later he comes back in. He goes through produce, goes all around the outer edge of the aisles and comes up behind me. He scares the crap out of me.

Kat and I are sitting in the back of my car talking and whatnot. We are facing each other, leaning against the doors. Well, I decide to get flirty and crawl across the seat for a kiss. I put my hand against the door behind her and look her in the eyes. Leaning in slowly for a kiss I get a hairsbreadth from her lips and she has her eyes closed, ready.

I open the door she is leaned against.

she didn’t fall out but she did yelp like a squeaky toy, call me a jerk, and kissed me anyways.

This morning I drove to school, which for me is about an hour drive, and the whole time I’m driving I can hear the wind in my ear, but I couldn’t stop to investigate cause I’m late. I tried to roll my windows up, thinking I just didn’t have them all the way up, but that didn’t stop the sound of the small twister forming in my metal death trap I call a car. I couldn’t feel the wind, but my car started getting cold and I cranked up the heat. The warm air never reached me, so I can only assume it was being sucked into the invisible wind tunnel as soon as it left the vents and escaping to freedom. I finally make it to school 30 minutes late and decide to skip class. Walking through the parking lot I’m looking for Kat’s car since her class was canceled, and someone honked at me. I assume it was just someone looking for their car and resume walking. A minute later I get a text from Kat. Kat: that was me Confused I start trying to look over cars and start swiveling my head around like an oversized meerkat. Not seeing her or her car I text her back. Me: the honk? Kat: yes I look up from my phone to try and find her again and her short ass steps out from behind a car. I had forgotten she was driving her brothers truck today. So, Kat and I decide to go to the movies and I (being the gentleman that slightly annoys her even though she won’t admit it) go to open the door for her to get into my car.

It was half way open. I drove for an hour with my door halfway open and never even noticed.