* TOO DAMN FILTHY .

❛  come on, baby.  ❜

‘ we’ll figure it out together. ’

❛ we’re here, in the wilderness. ❜ ❛ we need to start going, the sun is starting to set. ❜ ❛ are there alligators out here ? ❜ ❛ i’m freezing. freezing cold ❜ ❛ we made mac and cheese. i tried to keep it warm, so i put it inside my jacket and hugged it. ❜ ❛ this is not a two person tent. what does 1.5 even mean ? how do you have 1.5 people ? ❜ ❛ ow, my foot just cramped up. ❜ ❛ whoa, dude. i can just look straight up and see all the stars. ❜ ❛ haha, what’re you, gay ? ❜ ❛ my neck hurts and my back hurts. ❜ ❛ wow, if i fall off of this i’m gonna die. ❜ ❛ i hate you. ❜ ❛ why would you say that ? ❜

‘ this is how it ends? ’

sometimes  you  just  want  to  see  what  happens  when  this  whole  place  breaks  apart ,  &&  if  that’s  the  case ,  then  boy  do  i  have  a  gal  for  you . if  you’re  interested  in  interacting  with  one  aradia  megido ,  god  -  tier ,  independent ,  est   originally  on  4 / 16 / 14 ,  as  penned  by  kit  then  please  like  or  reblog  this  post !

I  HAVE  SIX  FUCKING  BULLETS  ——      i  should  use  them  on  your  goddamn  ass  !!   🐮🔪

❛  do  we  want  pictures ?  ❜ ❛  type  in  flooooorbo .  ❜ ❛  say  hi .  ❜ ❛  is  that  green ?  ❜ ❛  are  you  gonna  do  the  whole  thing  like  this ?  ❜ ❛  they  have  pictoboxes .  ❜ ❛  open  the  chest .  ❜ ❛  get  the  ring .  ❜ ❛  oh  my  god ,  no !  ❜ ❛  you’re  too  strong  for  them .  ❜ ❛  they’re  just  waiting .  ❜ ❛  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  kiss .  ❜ ❛  take  the  ring !  ❜ ❛  go  home .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  know !  ❜ ❛  they  banished  him  for  murdering .  ❜ ❛  go  outside .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  see  any  outside  to  go  to .  ❜ ❛  they  all  just  died  immediately .  ❜ ❛  why  would  they  do  that ?  ❜ ❛  you  could  just  murder  everybody .  ❜ ❛  don’t  be  silly .  ❜ ❛  you’re  probably  just  stuck .  ❜ ❛  he’s  fucking  dead .  ❜ ❛  light  the  pipe .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  know  everything .  ❜ ❛  whoa ,  what ?  ❜ ❛  no  way .  ❜ ❛  pick  pretty  flowers .  ❜ ❛  go  weast .  ❜ ❛  you  should  really  have  a  meal  about  now .  ❜ ❛  that  was  the  most  bullshit  ending .  ❜ ❛  what  the  fuck ?  ❜ ❛  he’s  helping  you .  ❜ ❛  he’s  just  standing  there ,  staring .  ❜ ❛  i  like  these  pictures .  ❜ ❛  okay ,  you  broke  the  bottle .  ❜ ❛  so ,  you  tried  to  punch  yourself  &&  somehow  missed ?  ❜ ❛  maybe  it’s  a  secret .  ❜ ❛  get  fucked .  ❜ ❛  what  an  adventure .  ❜ ❛  we  need  the  wine  to  get  fucked  up .  ❜ ❛  you  shouldn’t  have  gotten  drunk .  ❜ ❛  i’m  sorry .  ❜ ❛  i’m  fucked .  ❜ ❛  we’re  in  for  a  world  of  hurt .  ❜ ❛  break  the  bottle .  ❜ ❛  you  need  to  be  armed .  ❜ ❛  how  would  you  feel  if  you  were  surrounded  by  chimps ?  ❜ ❛  that  looks  nice .  ❜ ❛  go !  keep  moving .  ❜ ❛  what  the  fuck  sentence  is  this ?  ❜ ❛  this  is  where  that  bitch  was .  ❜ ❛  okay ,  we’re  going  east .  ❜ ❛  hang  on ,  i  got  an  idea .  ❜ ❛  we’re  done .  ❜

but i made sure i hit them as hard as they hit me.

❛  everyone  &&  their  mom  is  travelling  out  of  town .  ❜ ❛  this  is  all  imaginary .  ❜ ❛  my  favorite  moment  is  when  we  went  water  rafting .  ❜ ❛  you’re  heading  towards  the  rocks !  ❜ ❛  watch  out  for  these  rocks !  ❜ ❛  here’s  a  prime  example  of  an  innocent  idea  gone  wrong .  ❜ ❛  our  friends  are  drowning !  ❜ ❛  i  just  wanted  to  try  out  these  amazon  flotation  devices .  ❜ ❛  we  might  be  in  the  process  of  dying .  ❜ ❛  oh ,  hi .  i  was  just  reminiscing  about  my  favorite  moment  of  2016 .  ❜ ❛  there’s  fuckin ’  shit  down  there .  ❜ ❛  there’s  always  shit  down  there .  ❜ ❛  what  the  fuck  is  going  on  with  this  house ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  outta  here .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  never  been  able  to  top  that  level  of  grossness .  ❜ ❛  i  hope  to  god  that  we  never  do .  ❜ ❛  it’s  been  a  great  year .  for  sure ,  definitely .  ❜ ❛  we’ve  just  gotten  new  intel .  ❜ ❛  we’re  sending  the  coordinates  right  now .  ❜ ❛  well ,  well ,  well  …  mama’s  little  chicken’s  come  home .  ❜ ❛  oh  shit !  ❜ ❛  nathan  drake  wouldn’t  be  doing  this  shit .  ❜ ❛  please  leave  me  alone .  ❜ ❛  just  wait  …  i  -  i  can’t .  ❜ ❛  what  the  fuck  am  i  looking  at ?  ❜ ❛  nobody  wants  to  see  that ,  dude .  ❜ ❛  it’s  just  a  mist ,  look  at  that .  ❜ ❛  weeeeeee !  ❜ ❛  you’re  all  wet .  ❜ ❛  every  time  i  bring  you  here ,  you  always  leave  just  …  a  mess .  ❜ ❛  i  love  the  pups .  ❜ ❛  we  have  a  list  of  top  ten  pokemon  go  places  to  see .  ❜ ❛  they’re  rollin ’  up  on  us ,  we  gotta  go .  ❜ ❛  you  should  kick  his  ass .  ❜ ❛  do  i  say  anything  else ?  ❜ ❛  everyone’s  2016  sucked  dick .  ❜

❛  we’ve all gone too big too fast and then run out of the room.  ❜ ❛  block letters and cursive look good together!  ❜ ❛  yeah, but the past is the past.  ❜ ❛  i mean we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly.  ❜ ❛  i don’t give off that vibe.  ❜ ❛  you could pour soup in my lap and i’ll probably apologize to you.  ❜ ❛  i’m so open and vulnerable.  ❜ ❛  i love saying “my wife”, it sounds so adult.  ❜ ❛  marriage is gonna be very magical.  ❜ ❛  ooh, who’s that fella? i bet he did kill his wife.  ❜ ❛  how could another person kill someone?  ❜ ❛  i’m not gonna do it, but i totally get it.  ❜ ❛  it’s creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly.  ❜ ❛  anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents has to die.  ❜ ❛  that’s not even a situation.  ❜ ❛  hey, you seen any loose milk?  ❜ ❛  i don’t know if you can tell that from the… everything about me.  ❜ ❛  … and a hush falls over the room.  ❜ ❛  isn’t it weird how that became a scandalous thing?  ❜ ❛  it was just some boring shit i had to do on weekends.  ❜ ❛  aw, she’s ugly!  ❜ ❛  wouldn’t you give like a million dollars to see that wedding video?  ❜ ❛  ‘cause you know how you lie to your parents?  ❜ ❛  what? huh? what? when? when?  ❜ ❛  let’s see, what problems can we solve?  ❜ ❛  that’s not how you talk.  ❜ ❛  let’s change it to trick ___.  ❜ ❛  it’s like having a baby that’s also a grandma.  ❜ ❛  oh, the things i have seen, you cocksucker.  ❜ ❛  ___  is my best friend in the world, i give her a million kisses a day.  ❜ ❛  you are no longer the alpha of the house.  ❜ ❛  look upon your sovereign,  ___,  and  tremble!  ❜ ❛  it’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash.  ❜ ❛  i love real estate agents. i mean, they are the true heroes.  ❜ ❛  it was like hanging out with my mom.  ❜ ❛  they always have that ‘fun mom’ energy.  ❜ ❛  so, there’s no toilets.  ❜ ❛  well yeah, that’s how all of life works.  ❜ ❛  this is an on - fire garbage can.  ❜ ❛  this is an on - fire garbage can. could be a nursery.  ❜ ❛  sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all.  ❜ ❛  you’re never too young to learn our national no - snitching policy.  ❜ ❛  fell deadly silent, is what they all did.  ❜ ❛  no one wants to applaud the penis of a 32 - year old weirdo.  ❜ ❛  i had no supervision when i was a kid.  ❜ ❛  i grew up before children were special.  ❜ ❛  i’m so horny and angry all the time.  ❜ ❛  and i have no outlet for it, so…  eggs.  ❜ ❛  i think emily dickinson’s a lesbian.  ❜ ❛  you can imagine the kind of stress that i’m under.  ❜ ❛  i’m telling you three weeks in advance.  ❜ ❛  that’s exactly what you won’t ask.  ❜ ❛  and then, he ordered one black coffee for himself, and kept driving.  ❜ ❛  in retrospect, that’s the funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my life.  ❜ ❛  what do you do to afford v-necks, ___?  ❜ ❛  ah, numbers. the letters of math.  ❜ ❛  no one look at me or i’ll kill myself.  ❜ ❛  thank you, no one will ever see me again!  ❜ ❛  who could she have been talking to?  ❜ ❛  i need you to believe me.  ❜ ❛  one feels like a duck when one is splashing around in all this wet!  ❜ ❛  i think about that every goddamn day.  ❜ ❛  that’s the wonderful thing about crazy people, you know?  ❜ ❛  eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.  ❜ ❛  a very upsetting thing to hear, yes?  ❜ ❛  if you eat ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs.  ❜ ❛  one black coffee. same motherfucker.  ❜ ❛  my feet were not on the ground.  ❜ ❛  he never forgets a bitch, ever.  ❜ ❛  then it is revealed that she has NO hand.  ❜ ❛  you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclaire.  ❜

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