Ask The Puzz-ler

"I usually enjoy a challenge... Usually being the key word, here."

"Hello? Security? Yes, we’ve got another one. Mhm, mhm. Okay, thanks. Buh-bye." *click*

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to look this good while dealing with the level of nonsense that I have to every day? Lemme tell ya, it's no small feat... But then again, nothing I do is ever small. Hah! Bigger is better, as they say. It doesn't matter how many times you compliment me, though—I'm still not giving you that discount. We can't all be winners, you know. Maybe if you wanted to get a Thneed for the low, low price of $3.97, you should have been here three years ago!"

"No comment."

I still think about him sometimes…

“What part of ‘I’m busy’ don’t you people understand?!”

"If you're attempting to butter me up for a discount, though, I'm afraid I simply can't help you. That promotion ended last week; pity, but business is business, as they say.”

“Why don’t you go and play pretend somewhere else?”

“...Doesn’t help that I’ve also been getting a good number of strange phone calls recently. I keep blocking those damn numbers, but they come on through anyhow. Answering’s no good; I’ve checked personally, so you’ve got no right to call me stubborn. Nobody’s ever on the other end. Static. Can’t help but think it’s some angsty teen with nothing better to do trying to spook me... Even so, I’m having those good-for-nothing IT folks come and look at it again tomorrow. They keep saying nothing’s the matter--nothing’s the matter, my ass. Thing’s broke, I’m telling you--and this isn’t any place for broke things, be it people, or office phones.”

((It's 2020 and I've made a Once-ler ask blog. I've absolutely peaked. This is my legacy now.))