Life Sucks More Dick Than I Ever Will.

the weirdest thing about the education system is that pretty much every teenager ever is so stressed out about schools that they pray for disasters or fake illness or try to kill themselves and yet nobody has ever thought to themselves “hey maybe our system is flawed” and instead all they ever think is “kids these days are so lazy and selfish” like what the fuck is up with that man

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

I relate to the phrase “chillin like a villain” because it shows that I’m calm but also ready to sin

ARIEL

Yahzzz this is gold

Always reblog @alphasandassociates

ALWAYS!!!

Omfggggg