You Should Run.

pornhub.com/men tied up and whimpering and suffering

But like with most things there are ethical ways to go about doing this.

1. You have to consider how healthy it's going to be for them. The most clear cut example is loosing weight, study after study show that not only is there no healthy way of intentionally loosing weight there are also no effective long term ways. And there's nuance here of course; botox, lip filler, corset training, etc, these all have varying levels of health risks.

Great question imaginary dominant

First go read THIS guide to training

Second, what are your goals. There's no point starting to sculpt them without having an idea of what you want them to look/ be like as you both make progress.

After that it's going to depend heavily on your vision of them. But here's a few suggestions on where to start.

Clothing (and maybe makeup?), absolutely the easiest place to start. Do you want them to show more skin? Dress up more? Feminine, masculine, or androgynous? Colourful or all black? Is there a specific style you'd like them to dress in? As with everything it might be best to start slowly, don't replace their entire wardrobe in one go; gradually guide them in the direction you'd like

Posture? Do they sit up straight? If not pressing the lower middle of their back whenever you notice them slouching is a good reminder. How do they walk? If they step in a line their hips will sway pleasingly. How do they hold their hands, what's their resting face look like, etc, etc, etc all of these things can be modified

Vocal patterns? The voice is very malleable, you could raise or lower their pitch, remove or add words or phrases to their lexicon

There are innumerable things that you could change about your submissive even without getting into the plastic surgery side,,,

(disclaimer 1: I will be using “bottom” instead of “sub” in this guide because not everyone on the receiving end of knifeplay is subbing. I am simply using “bottom” to indicate that they are on the receiving end of the tool, not the wielding end. disclaimer 2: there is no safe way to do knifeplay, only least safe and closest possible to safe. disclaimer 3: I will not be discussing scalpel cutting scarification or skin removal scarification as I believe that’s best left to the professionals.)

simulated knifeplay—

good options for simulated knifeplay are things like a very cold credit card swiped quickly with pressure against warm skin, or a very cold butter knife, or a Wartenburg wheel. with the bottom in the right mindspace, particularly blindfolded or otherwise unable to see what you’re doing, these things can feel very much like a knife without ever taking a weapon to skin. there are also things like wooden or acrylic knives but weirdly they don’t feel as similar to knife blades.

please make sure the credit/debit/ID/library/Jamba Juice rewards member card is clean before using it on skin, and that there are no torn or jagged edges.

there is very little risk to actually tearing skin with a butter knife, but some have a serrated edge which leaves some risk for tear. if you are using a butter knife, have first aid handy for just in casies as there may be some small wounding. again, very little risk, but always better safe than sorry. it’s unlikely this would lead to an open cut, but even gently tearing the skin at a surface level can be irritating to the skin/leave some abrasion.

Wartenburg wheels also have some risk for abrasion, varying with how intense the pressure and speed are. for example, I play with throat slitting roleplay with a W wheel, and at the right speed/pressure in the right mindspace it 100% feels like getting my throat slit. however, that speed and pressure can be so much that I am left with a harsh line of irritated/raw skin across my throat. no risk of actually slitting the throat, but definite risk for an unfortunate looking scratch across the throat.

if you use a Wartenburg, test it on a patch of the least sensitive skin* first. they come in various intensities of sharpness and can draw blood, mostly in small pin pricks following the line of the wheel. this goes doubly for areas of very thin skin or when applied with high pressure. again, first aid kit just in case.

never use a tool made of metal the bottom is allergic to.

warmed (not hot) viscous lube or massage oil can be used to mimic the sensation of the bottom bleeding from the wound. warmed “warming lube/oil” can be even more “convincing” as the feeling spreads. warming lube is well known for being irritating to skin, do a patch test first. never use an oil or lube the bottom is allergic to. always test the temperature of it before applying to skin as you’re not aiming for lube burns here.

simulated knifeplay can be especially heightened by involving real weapons. holding a real knife so the bottom can see it, working fearplay in by “convincing” the bottom you’re going to use it, even letting the bottom hold the knife and get a feel for the weapon that’s “going to be used on them” can be a powerful mindfuck. then you use the simulating tool instead. leading me toooooo…

knifeplay with a weapon, no wounding—

obviously I’m always on the side of RACK and PRICK**. that being said, it is very unwise to do any play with a weapon while under the influence. risk aware? the risk is grievous harm or death. personal responsibility informed? be informed that the personal responsibility you have wielding a weapon is that you are literally responsible for someone’s life. that’s much harder to balance when you mix substances in.

weapon play with a weapon you are unfamiliar with is similarly unwise. get used to the knife you plan to use before using it. find out how much it takes to slice a piece of paper, a chunk of cardboard, pieces of leather, etc. find what those pressure measures are so you can avoid cutting if you don’t mean to.

never play with a knife without a first aid kit nearby and accessible, even if you don’t intend to wound anyone with it. you need a first aid kit with sterile gauze, antiseptic cream or wipes or spray, bandages, and medical tape. these are the basics, but even better if the kit has butterfly closures, hemostatic agents, and more. know how to use these items.

there are lots of fun ways to play with a knife without wounding. from cutting off clothing or threatening with a knife to gently tracing knives on skin or pressing a knife to the skin.

cutting off clothing with a knife is relatively safe. for example, cutting off underwear: to avoid wounding, the safest way to go about it is to manually lift the fabric up away from the body, insert the knife between the fabric and the skin with the spine (flat) facing the skin and the blade (sharp) facing up to the fabric. puncture the fabric and slide the blade through it (towards you, this is safer and more control than tilting the blade back towards the bottom). this method is safer and avoids wounding more than if you were to go blade down or slash at anything without a point of puncture first.

honestly if you’re wanting to threaten with a knife without risk of wounding, it’s best to do it at a distance from the bottom. where things get really risky is involving this kind of threat in the act of sex, as there’s less control over body movement and one wrong move could be a terrible wound. the psychological aspect can be enough on its own, you don’t necessarily need to get creative and physical with the the knife’s involvement if you’re intentionally avoiding wounds.

gently tracing knives on skin without wounding is about a steady hand and an overall control of motion. doing this without wounding is best achieved by being on a steady surface (if your bed isn’t firm, move to the floor). it may behoove you to have the bottom bound or restrained in some way.it will be considerably less safe to do this if you aren’t prepared for wounds and you know you or the bottom have uncontrolled movements (tics, TDK, restless leg, etc). using the tip instead of the blade is your best chance to not accidentally leave ribbon slices all over the bottom.

holding a knife blade to skin without intending to wound is one of the, if not the hardest, hardest ways to do non-wounding knifeplay. all the need for stillness and controlled movement from the last bit is necessary times 300 here. I’m not going to play dumb and act like I don’t regularly get a knife blade held to my throat. I’m also not going to recommend that to anyone or act like it’s not ridiculously risky. my disclaimer is that I only do that with someone I trust implicitly, I know is extremely confident with knives, has very steady hands, etc. this is next level edgeplay, in some ways much riskier than actually wounding, please be cautious. if anything feels off, if the ground feels uneven, if you or the bottom is shivering, if for any reason you or the bottom is not 100% confident in stillness, this is incredibly dangerous. I’m not kidding. one poorly timed cough or sneeze that isn’t caught in time can genuinely absolutely kill you.

it is not a bad idea to have a real knife that is dulled to the point of uselessness for scenes like this to keep it psychological and not physical… but I mean useless. it needs to be no sharper than a butter knife, because a dulled knife will have completely unpredictable cut points and blunt points. way harder to gauge the intensity and pressure needed to not cut. best bet for avoiding wounds is always going to be not using a sharpened weapon, but a sharper weapon is safer than an unpredictable blunted one.

knifeplay with wounding—

first aid is even more crucial when you are wounding. knife wounds need tending.

I’ll get more into bloodplay in a moment, but you do not need to cut very deep to produce a bleeding wound. you can always cut a wound a little deeper, you can’t unfuck a wound that’s too deep. less is more.

your knife needs to be clean for this to be most safe and it should have a dedicated plate or tray. the knife should only be going into your hands, onto the bottom’s skin, and back into the tray. it shouldn’t be touching surfaces like beds or blankets or tables in between. the knife you use should only be used for knifeplay.

using a serrated blade that will tear instead of a smooth blade that will slice is considerably less safe and creates wounds that heal poorly. similarly, using a single-bladed knife is much safer than one without a flat “spine”.

you need to know at least basic anatomy. cutting in safer zones will prevent most accidental grievous injuries. cutting in danger zones will be much more likely for traumatic accidents.

safest zones for beginners are the back, the upper outer thighs, and the shoulders. meatier areas like the buttocks are also more towards safe than not.

danger hotzones are the face, the throat, the neck, the inner thighs, underside of the forearms, armpits, genitalia, joints where blood vessels are close to the surface, anywhere with bigger vessels or tendons.

take the time to get to know the bottom’s body. where is the skin thinnest? where are veins visible? cutting there will be the least safe.

skin that’s intended to be cut should be cleaned with (ideally) medical grade alcohol wipes before it is cut.

any amount of wounding knifeplay is able to scar. don’t cut somewhere you’re not willing to scar.

you do not want to be pushing into skin. you want to be pulling the blade toward yourself across the bottom’s skin at a 45 degree angle.

practicing on a whole chicken is actually a great way to get a feel for how deep to cut and just how much pressure causes the correct wound.

when you are cutting into someone’s flesh, you are always a step closer to killing them than you were before the blade penetrated the skin. their life is in your hands. take this shit seriously. it can be so fun and rewarding, but only if you’re not ending up in the hospital or court.

knife wound bloodplay—

blood is a biohazard. prepare for this accordingly. best not to leave the bottom dripping blood all the way to the shower after a scene.

involving any amount of bondage can basically create a tourniquet situation. cutting anywhere at the above-tie (before the place the blood flow is stopped), it may bleed more. if you’re cutting anywhere at the below-tie (the area in which blood flow has been restricted), it may unexpectedly start bleeding more when the bondage/restraint is removed.

be aware of the risk if you’re planning to lick up/drink the blood. blood passes so many different illnesses. you are not going to be living your safest bloodplay life ingesting a stranger’s blood without knowing their test results, HIV status, or other blood borne health information. testing is vital. also, if you’re not used to it, just like ingesting any other foreign bodily fluid, it may upset your stomach.

I said the substance thing before, I really mean it now. anything that will thin the bottom’s blood should be a no-go, because you presumably don’t want to them bleed out. drugs, alcohol, aspirin, viagra, blood thinning meds or blood pressure meds…. all going to reduce ability to clot.

once the scene is over, wounds should be immediately treated. antiseptic wipes, cream, or spray for the wound, remaining blood on the skin cleaned up with alcohol wipes, sterile gauze over the wound. it should be then cared for regularly as it heals (I will discuss scar care). anything blood got on needs to be sterilized, washed, or disposed of.

if anything looks or feels wrong (too deep of a wound, too much blood, blood not clotting, etc), seek medical attention. as soon as humanly possible.

scar care—

if you want the wound to heal evenly and fade the scar as much as possible: butterfly closures can help skin “stitch” back together evenly. regularly clean the wound. change bandages regularly. DO NOT PICK AT IT. moisturize lightly with antiseptic cream. once the wound has closed, keeping it out of the sun and regularly applying sunscreen does wonders for fading scars. they also make silicone strips for scars that many people have great success with, more so than most scar creams.

if you want to keep and maintain the scar: leave it covered in cling wrap (no air + more moisture = stronger scarring). keep it as moist as possible so the skin doesn’t dry and stitch itself together quite as easily. for that I recommend antiseptic cream rubbed into the open wound with a bandaid (sterile gauze if it’s too big for a bandaid) over it overnight or for a couple hours for a few days while it’s healing. make sure to wash the wound of the cream each time you’re done a that round of moisturizing. to really make a scar stick, you do want it to scab, so after a few days let it dry out and scab. use clean hands to rip scabs off as the scabbing starts. literally rubbing salt in the wound hurts like a bitch but doing this after the scab is removed encourages it to raise. if salt sucks too much, gently irritating it with a fresh, new toothbrush works too. really, intending on a scar just means not letting a wound heal properly. this is still a wound and should still be handled with sterile bandages, fresh cling wrap each time you use it, 100% clean toothbrushes (buy a multipack), and washed hands!

have fun! be safe! all I can advise on is safer practices— this is never safe and the second you treat it like it is, you’re in even more danger. your risk profile is your risk profile**, all I hope is that you’re informed and safe enough to have a great time. knifeplay is such a powerful form of edgeplay, and when wielded (pun intended) correctly, it can be so hot. go forth and cut each other up or something.

The thumb ring; my suggestion of symbolic jewelry for Dominants

Submissives have collars which signify both their status as a sub and that they have a dominant (or someone who put the collar on them). Being a dominant is no less of a commitment, no less of a responsibility, no less important to be displayed.

There are a few things I like about this choice

Thumb rings are historically significant often worn as a symbol of power or status by rulers and religious leaders across many cultures. More recently they've been associated with queer identities.

The thumb itself is also symbolic. It's the strongest finger, it's the finger that allows us to use tools and to hold things, it's the finger that let's us control the world around us.

It's super versatile, I'm wearing one made of silver a centimeters wide because it matches my wife's collar but a leather ring to match a leather collar or a ring made of rope for a rigger, there are a lot of cool options.

The thumb rings are also fairly discrete whilst being impossible to hide. There's no escaping your responsibility, you see it on your hand constantly and so does everyone else even if they don't know what it means.

Horse in my head