BUTCH DAD

we met when we were like 11 or 12? And within weeks we were attached at the hip. I started formulating a version of the kidnapping fantasy in middle school, so I couldn’t have been older than 14? Most of the early versions weren’t sexual so much as they were clingy. I mean. I was definitely sexually attracted to it, don’t get me wrong, I was a preteen not a toddler, but the fantasy was more about just… living together. Being together. We were both young and scared of our big feelings. We’d dramatically blow up at each other the way kids tend to, and my response was to formulate an increasingly complex fantasy of kidnapping it and keeping it in my home and providing for it. It was comforting and made sense to me.

Based on my journals and writing, these daydreams went on for years and years and took on a lot of different forms. I’d imagine myself as a vampire and it as my living blood bag. I’d be a princess and it would be my prisoner of war or my knight (or, when I was a bit older, a favored member of my harem). I’d think about being elected president of the world and using my power and influence to demand that it become my live in chief of staff. That was a weird one that stuck around for a long time. Um. Oh fuck there was a period where I’d daydream about discovering that River was actually an alien and then being given a huge government grant to lock them in a research facility and experiment on them. And then just simple kidnapping. Get an apartment. Coax it into coming over, maybe for a date, maybe we’re fighting and it wants to pick up its things and take off. Drugging it. Or maybe tackling it. It’s stronger than me, and was much stronger as a kid, but it wouldn’t expect it, so maybe I’d succeed. Forcing it into cuffs or a cage or knocking it out so it wakes up bound. I’d play out the scenario over and over in my head. How it would wake up. How it would beg me to let it go. How it might behave after a few days, weeks, months of conditioning.

but i have never in my life seen a post saying to support masculine trans girls and trans women or trans girls and trans women who like traditionally masculine things and its really important to understand that showing support for trans women in any form is just as important as showing support for trans men so please, please reblog this.