literature geek

they used me.

And it wishes I could never feel.

A measure of how far away something is. Normally a negative connotation, saying something is considerably far. Many people openly wish an empty wish, for the distance to not be as great. Whether it be from family, friend, or lover, the wish remains the same. A lover, kept awake at night because their partners soft snoring lulled them to sleep. A grandmother, softly wishing to herself she could be reunited with her children and their children, for time is slipping. Old friends, who fondly remember one another, unable to speak because of lost connections. People who’ve never met, but could never be closer, feel their chests clench as they imagine meeting the other, but lack the money to do so. Distance, a warped thing. The distance between fingertips or lips can either be centimeters or miles. The distance of the hug could vary, as digital hugs have taken the place of a real one when there’s an inability to actually hug someone. Distance appears to be wicked. An unwanted part of life, like that annoying cousin that never leaves you alone. Its a bird softly pecking at you, but eventually it creates a wound that bleeds and hurts. It can’t close until the bird stops pecking. Its forever seeing footsteps in the sand, but never being able to follow. Its hoping they come back safe and sound with no true assurance. Distance, not evil, but cruel all the same.

“Everything’s great,” they say as they had once thought that, but now they’re realizing everything’s getting worse and they’re slowly deteriorating. They thought they were getting better, but they pay more attention and realize it’s only gotten worse somewhere else. More tears have been shed recently than normal, but only a few at a time. They vow to never let someone see their pain. “Never again, never again.” They refuse to communicate anymore, because that would let people want to stay. They get quiet more often. They eat less than they used to. The urges get worse and worse. “Yes, I’m okay.” But you can’t spell broken without “ok”.

They’re the go-to person for your problems. You know they’ll do anything for you. They never have problems, or if they do they never show it. They sacrifice so much for you. What you’ll never know is they aren’t happy. People pleasers aren’t happy people. They do everything for you and disregard that they even exist, just so you’ll accept them. They’re afraid to burden you with their problems, for you have so much going on it’ll only add on. They have a lot going on too. That’s everyone these days. You meet broken people, even if they don’t admit it. It sucks, but it’s true. The people pleasers will act like nothing’s wrong just for you. Appreciate yours, and tell them they’re no burden. They’re people too, y'know?

A love once considered lost, a hopeless, barren desert, now in repair as it blossoms into a rejuvenating oasis. The reason causing it’s downfall being washed away, as two lovers fight to continue together in life. Never did she stop loving him, she only felt he was no longer her answer. She felt as if they were no longer a good match. It was his persistence in loving her and fighting for her, his need to have her, and willingness to do anything for her, that lead to the reunion. It was conversation that rebirthed this relationship, and it is conversation that shall keep it so. For two people who feel as though life is not worth living without the other, attempting to live apart, is a sad event that doesn’t need to occur. Love was lost, and rediscovered in short time. This is not everyone’s story, because the world is a cruel place. They are lucky, and they have begun to learn how to truly cherish the other.

Kofi Annan

Maybe we were meant to be. Maybe not. Maybe we were good for each other. Maybe not. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe not. Maybe it was worth it. Maybe not.