.•*°~♡~°*•.

hate it when people say 'you cant make everything gay'. yes I fucking can???

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

Reblog this and tell me what was your biggest crying over a piece of fiction. You can be vague if you don't want to spoil.

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

not now kitten, mommy needs to get up off her ass and overcome her fear of writing poorly because it's better than not writing at all.

Hey guys the star of Let It Snake is graduating high school today lmao

normally it's frustrating when mystery games hand you answers on a silver plate but in ace attorney, the witnesses' tendencies to conveniently say far more than what they were asked for is so hilarious that it becomes its own reward. ace attorney witnesses will be asked what time they saw the murder and they'll say it was 10:40 and they know it was exactly that time because that's the exact minute they open the can of Fancy Feast to feed their elderly russian blue cat, father of 12 kittens and phoenix will be like umm actually i spoke to your cat and here's a written affidavit from him that there was a recall on Fancy Feast and also he's never been to russia nor known the touch of a woman. you're going to jail buddy

[wishing so bad to vaguepost but not wanting to send harassment after anyone] i saw a post. and it was bad.

BREAKING: Trump Has Allegedly Signed The White-Gold Concordat And Is In League With The Thalmor 😳🚨

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

(∩^o^)⊃━☆ casting a spell on you!!

Op what spell is this?

spell of explosion and death !!!!＜（＾－＾）＞