i had that dream again, where i was lost for good

literally just saying 'he spoke with a Welsh accent'; sure, it's a bit blunt, but it gets the job done in a pinch. "He's completely drunk," he said, his southern drawl lingering on the final syllable as if to highlight the extent of the offence. Y'know, something of that ilk, but not as shit.

learning the specific vocabulary and syntax that someone with that accent might use. Sticking with the Welsh theme, because it's objectively the best accent*, there's a bunch of things that differentiate a colloquial South Walean accent, outside of our famed tendency to elongate a vowel to the point of death. The way we use prepositions (where to by is he?), the vocabulary borrowed from Welsh - saying that someone daft is twp, or something small is dwty - can easily signpost our speech as being from that specific area, without needing to type something like "'e's absolutely 'angin', man, pissed as a faaht 'e is!" Something less jarring, such as "He's absolutely hanging, he is." is just as clear. A character who says "Do you want a cuppa?" is coded or located very differently to one who says "You'll have a cup of tea, so you will."

ditto if there are specific ways that someone from a certain area might refer to a well-known concept. Regional words for mother and father, for example, or words that are class-specific; your character who calls his parents 'mater and pater' is likely inhabiting a different socioeconomic strata than your character who calls them 'mam and dad'. See if there's a colloquial way of saying 'yes' and 'no'; a lot can be signposted if your character says 'nah' rather than 'no', or 'aye' rather than 'yes'. A character saying 'couch' is inherently coded differently to one who says 'sofa'.

The reasons that writing accents phonetically is Generally Ill-Advised, In My Opinion are as follows:

quite simply, you're probably not being as clear in conveying the sounds of the accent as you think you are. Taking JK Rowling's work as the best possible example of this, her attempts at writing a Cockney accent phonetically come across like someone is chewing a mouthful of cheese curds and struggling to contain them. There's no consistency, no proper understanding of how to transcribe syllables into writing in a way that coherently conveys the accent she's trying to portray. I mean this so seriously, but what the flying fuck is: 'Well, 'e 'ad these 'ead pains and 'e was def'nitley nervous. Depressed maybe.' It's a crime, is what it is.

it's just plain hard to read. Trying to wade through sentences full of apostrophes and elision, parsing what's actually being said, gets tiresome. It asks the reader to do work that you're actively making harder for them. And that's not always a bad thing! Making readers Put Some Fucking Effort In can be very fruitful! But do you really want them to be struggling to understand every single thing that your Character B is saying for 350 pages?

which leads me onto the last point, and the most important in my mind: writing out accents like this always, always affects accents that are already in some way Othered. They're either racialised or working class, or associated with certain local regions that have negative stereotypes - think the deep South of the US, or the Welsh Valleys. They're never the 'default'. And this raises thorny questions about what the default is, what the standardised accent is, the accents that do and do not merit differentiation from the norm. You're relegating Character B to being hard to read because he's from, idk, Sunderland. You've decided that he isn't speaking 'properly', and therefore the reader needs to understand that other people think he's speaking weirdly. That, to me, is the principle issue. Because returning to JK Rowling (a sentence I hoped never to type), the only characters who speak like this in her work are working class, or they're from other countries. They're never from, you know, Surrey. Wonder why that is. And it's easy to be glib about it, but I do think it reifies class and regional boundaries in a way that's ultimately harmful.

This isn't to say that there's never a place for eye dialect in writing - Trainspotting (edit to respond to some legitimate comments in the reblogs: I bring up Trainspotting because it's written in Scots and Scottish English, not just Scots, but I agree that this isn't the best example as the Scots portions are not part of this conversation in the same way; consider Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston as a better example, and apologies for the confusion!) wouldn't be what it is without it, and there's definitely a different conversation to be had when it's your own accent and you're making a deliberate point about identity by differentiating through eye dialect - but I think that the blanket assumption of 'oh shit, my character is from Ireland, I'd better type that out phonetically!' can actually be both damaging to your writing and to your character representation, and I think that instead doing the work to really understand the vocabulary, speech patterns and unique aspects of a language or dialect always makes a work feel more authentic and lived-in.

To wit, less of this shite:

There’s mony a slip, an’ I’m no losin’ sight o’ any o’ my suspectit pairsons, juist yet awhile. (One of the Lord Peter Wimsey novels by the very English Dorothy L. Sayers, if you were wondering, and yes, that's supposed to be a Scottish accent; I'd not be bringing it up if it were a Scottish author writing in Scots)

and more of this:

"Are we straight so?"

"Aye, we're straight," said Jim.

"Straight as a rush, so we are." (Jamie O'Neill, Irish, from At Swim, Two Boys)

it be generally low cost, low effort, n low accountability form of accommodation that providers use to meet buzzword “disability inclusive” n get kudos for that, while use as excuse not need to accommodate for disabled people who need accommodation that need more effort or bigger / fundamental changes to what they doing. e.g. many physically disabled people, especially wheelchair users, high support needs neurodivergent people, n honestly sometimes even lower support needs neurodivergent people with different needs.

these accommodations typically one of two category:

1) objects that little to no cost to get (can often buy for cheap cost or in bulk) and little to no effort in implement (you literally hand to neurodivergent person)

this be like stim toys, sometimes ear defenders, etc.

at best, may lower music volume, dim lights, but many times not even that.

this may be helpful for people who not allowed buy stim toys, forgot stim toys, or try out new types, but personally never found these helpful n always kind of confused me because many neurodivergent ppl am know who regularly use n need stim toys & noise cancelling… literally bring their own.

interestingly, portable ramps technically be same in this way compared to some other ways make buildings be physically accessible to physically disabled ppl & wheelchair users (widening doors, remodel to get rid of stairs, build permanent ramp, etc). but it be nowhere near frequent “give stim toy.” they ARE more expensive than stim toys (can buy like a LOT of them online for like 30 dollars), but still. think it still speak to how (some look of) neurodivergence vs physical disabilities treated.

(be told “we be fully accessible but do have few steps get in but we can carry you in / come find us inside n we bring out portable ramp for you” be FREQUENT experience for wheelchair users, but would… not call that accessibility. at least stim toys & ear defenders here be actual tools n aids n accommodations that help.)

2. conceptual things with little to no guide on how they be achieved, how to assess they succeed or fail, or accountability in general.

e.g saying “can be yourself with us” “stim freely” “we not judge”

which. don’t get wrong - great concepts. should be Thing. but often time it stop there at concept and slogan and words.

and many times, these not even true in action, or only selectively true to most pallatable n most privileged. many times “be yourself” mean certain type of self, stim freely be certain type of stim (cute, quiet, or occasional cute “non threatening” noises, small actions, ignorable, etc.), many times do judge, sometimes visibly. promise words =/= actions.

for example, neurodivergent people of color, especially black neurodivergent people, can be seen as more threatening even if do same thing as white neurodivergent person… or nothing at all. higher support needs autistic etc people who cannot control stim, constant stim, loud stim, so called “disgusting” stim, groan moan big full body movements, etc., or public meltdown of any type but especially the loud n stereotypical n “ugly” type.

versus. many access needs of physically disabled people need concrete physical things & cannot even be pretended be solved with virtual signaling. you cannot slogan your way into suddenly summon ramp (… though many people do try virtual signal their way thru “accommodating” wheelchair users, as talked above)

you rarely hear “we accept people with medical devices!” be big advertised Slogan Thing. … plus, people often gross out or somehow inconvenienced by it anyway, or stare - especially stuff like ostomy bag, catheter bag, or honestly like anything with stoma, n also life sustaining medical devices that beep once in while (… so annoying people or “trigger someone sensory issues” n somehow put on same level of access needs.)

wheelchair users require ramp or otherwise physically accessible entrance to even get in, to even have chance see if it accessible inside, to even have chance see if it accommodating to their neurodivergence they may have. some people have bulky 300+lb wheelchairs n some are nonambulatory, there be no “force tolerating the discomfort” of no ramp to get in. people with life sustaining medical equipments need those equipments to… well. stay alive, n some of them cannot be disconnected for even few seconds or else will die or physically impossible remove without surgery.