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I don't know if I've really felt it...satisfaction

Everyone talks about it like it's the full feeling, but for me, Its a flicker. A passing shadow, a moment I only notice when its gone, just like a synching file without the owner of the device being aware.

Sometimes I do everything ''right''-and yet it still doesn't feel like enough. Other times, I do nothing ,and my heart still begs for a reward.

What really is satisfaction? Is it a destination or a decision ? A soft place to land, or just silence between storms?

Maybe i'm still learning. Maybe i'm chasing a feeling that was not intent on staying. But i'm here,writing from a hollow place,hoping one sentence will feel like a full breath.

But maybe that's what satisfaction is...not the end. Just the fact that I am still trying, doing my best to be what I can, but you know...seeing my future self has already given me satisfaction