Panic Cord

w/ @inhomp

Jinsoul is not shy. Surely, she is well mannered and appropriately demure, but has never had much trouble being friendly with strangers. It seems just a few cute drinks are all she needs for her outgoing attitude to overcome her bashful demeanor when confronted with someone cute. She isn’t even self-conscious about being too tall or too plain or too loud like she usually is.

Besides, Inho isn’t a stranger. Yes she knows of him more than she actually knows him, but he’s ViVi’s sibling, so they’ve practically met, and that’s just how she introduces herself.

“I’m Jinsoul, I’m friends with you sister!”

She’s spent a good deal of the night with the fox girl, and assumes her brother had seen this, but still gives a little giggle and curtsy, fingers lacing together behind her back when she finds herself staring down at the ground.

He was holding the glass of red wine in hand. His suit was fitted nicely, he felt confident in his suits they hid him in all the right ways. He was sure his hips looked straight in a suit, although still a little too round for his own self. He looked over when someone came over, he smiled a little. "Hi, I'm Inho."

Mia had somehow avoided the water balloon fight. It wasn’t really her thing - not that she didn’t like to have fun, obviously, but she’d forgotten that it had been planned and hadn’t brought a change of clothes. And she did not want to drip all over the place for the rest of the day. Besides, she had to work.

But she’d watched from a safe distance, and now that the fight was over and the area was safe again, she walked around the aftermath with an amused grin on her red lips. Out of the corner of her eye, Mia spotted someone familiar - Inho. He looked like he was unsure of what to do, gripping his wet shirt and letting it go. She narrowed her eyes and was about to say something when he saw her.

“Hey,” she greeted him with a smile and walked up to him. “Ah nope, I didn’t bring a change of clothes because I figured I’d be working all day and wouldn’t have the time to join the fight. Turns out I was wrong, but still.” She shrugged, then grinned again. “You look like you got got pretty good. Are you gonna change or something? You probably shouldn’t keep the wet shirt on.” God, she sounded like a mom. But there was something about the shirt that was bothering Inho, she sensed it, and he was a good friend. She trusted him and he trusted her, and she wanted to help.

Inho nodded at her own explanation. He didn’t have an excuse for this. How had been so stupid. “Ah... well.” He said trying to fix his shirt so it didn’t stick too awkwardly to his body. “I...” He tried to think of a decent reason for his state of attire and the seeming refusal he had to take it off. He needed a reason, a reason that wasn’t the truth. He knew being this far into his transition he should be feeling braver, feeling more like himself. And to an extent that was true, pre-surgery Inho would have been to afraid to do a water balloon fight for fear of their binder being exposed. 

He took a small breath, there was no point lying to Mia, she would probably see through him anyway. “I forgot to bring a spare shirt. I didn’t think about it.” He looked over at the guys who’d been in the fight, they were now shirtless and there were girls who were now just in bikini tops. Inho tried his best not to stare at the other. 

❛  I used to think you were the best thing that happened, but now I think you might maybe be the worst thing.  ❜

❛  You have to do everything you can, you have to work your hardest, and if you do, you have a shot at a silver lining.  ❜

❛  The world’s hard enough as it is.  ❜

❛  Can’t somebody just be positive?  ❜

❛  You’re not a standup guy today.  ❜

❛  Can we get through one fucking conversation without you reminding me that my goddamn husband’s dead?  ❜

❛  When life reaches out at a moment like this it’s a sin if you don’t reach back, I’m telling you its a sin if you don’t reach back!  ❜

❛  It’ll haunt you the rest of your days like a curse.   ❜

❛  The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed.  ❜

❛  Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?  ❜

❛  The only way you can beat my crazy was by doing something crazy yourself.  ❜

❛  I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.  ❜

❛  It can still be a date if you order raisin bran.  ❜

❛  You love her even before you realized it  ❜

❛  You say more inappropriate things than you say appropriate things. You scare people.  ❜

❛  What are you doing?  ❜

❛  Do yourself a favor: respect a restraining order, ok?  ❜

❛  I don’t want to talk to her.  ❜

❛  Would you just leave me alone!  ❜

❛  I have one more letter for you to read.  ❜

❛  Just trying to be romantic.  ❜

❛  Humanity is just nasty and there’s no silver lining.  ❜

❛  I ordered raisin bran because I don’t want it to look like a date.  ❜

❛  I told my story and you judged me?  ❜

❛  You’re afraid to live.  ❜

❛  You’re an asshole.  ❜

❛  You look nice.  ❜

❛  Oh, I’m not flirting with you.  ❜

❛  Oh, I didn’t think you were.  ❜

❛  Why are you wearing a garbage bag?  ❜

❛  You have poor social skill you have a problem.  ❜

❛  True love is about letting her go and seeing if she returns.  ❜

❛  If clouds are blocking the sun, there will always be a silver lining that reminds me to keep on trying.  ❜

❛  I don’t want to stay in the bad place, where no one believes in silver linings or love or happy endings.  ❜

❛  Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality, while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.  ❜

❛  I am practicing being kind over being right.  ❜

❛  You need to make time for your family no matter what happens in your life.  ❜

❛  I still love you in my own fucked-up way.  ❜

❛  Life is random and fucked-up and arbitrary, until you find someone who can make sense of it all for you— if only temporarily.  ❜

❛  It hurts to look at the clouds, but it also helps, like most things that cause pain.  ❜

“Oh! I would love to! Carnival rides are the best.” The suggestion only made his already bright expression more radiant; ever one to project happiness like a Care Bear, thanks to his mother. And the possibility of making a friend only made his natural joyful aura stronger– after all, he was still (forever and always, it felt like) a little lacking in the friend department, due to work taking up all of his time.

“What’s your name? I feel like I’ve seen you around, but I don’t think we’ve talked? I’m Hongbin.” They had definitely crossed paths, he thought, although he could not place where, exactly. That didn’t matter, though; it just meant that maybe they ran in the same circles and so they would have something in common to chat about. That would be nice.

“It’s such a nice day, huh? Hot and sunny, perfect for a Sunshine Festival~”

Inho smiled, “Great. I was trying to pick which one to go on first but I don’t know.” He gave the man a small smile, “I kinda am new to fairground rides really.” Inho had been here too long really to be this way but he had always skipped events and just chosen to hole himself up in the library. He was always safe there but he wasn’t really living if he was just hiding his whole life. 

“Hwang Inho, Son of Inari.” He said with a laugh pointing to his ears. “I’m pretty much always in the library or the university. If you take any of the history classes that involve Japan or Korea I’ve been a TA for many of them.” He said with a small nod. “I’ve been here since I was 13/14 so like 11 nearly 12 years.” 

mpxhui:

maybe hui is a little reckless. after getting a pair of rental skates from the roller disco’s booth, he is gliding across the rink. fortunately, he isn’t drunk (yet), so he has most of his hand-eye coordination. he really doesn’t mind skating alone. it’s more like he’s a hazard as others move out of the way when he would zip past them. for the most part, he is having fun. he really likes the vintage vibe of roller disco. really, he likes anything vintage or retro. also, there’s pizza. 

there is someone who seems to be having a difficult time on the rink. he looks like a fawn trying to walk for the first time. hui easily comes to a stop next to the individual. “hey, you okay, man?” the stranger tries to push himself up, but he is ultimately unsuccessful. hui offers his hand, “here.” he helps inho stand up on his own, but the other male still seems to be unbalanced even standing still in roller skates. “geez… before you skate, you should make sure you can stand still in them first… you gotta walk before you can run.”  

Inho wished he’d been gifted with a far better balance on these wheel-shoes but clearly that wasn’t something he was going to be able to do. He didn’t know how to gain his balance. He looked up at the guy who’s come over and stopped. He smiled taking the others hand. “Thanks.” He felt a little embarrassed, he knew he was bad but he couldn’t even get to his feet without help. He smiled at the guy. 

It had been way too long since Hongbin had had a day off– a true day off when he wasn’t called into the lab or working on academic research. But, thanks to the Sunshine Festival, he was having a real day off. He had put on shorts and a tank top (unusual attire for him, considering he was often in work clothes), slathered on the sunscreen, and left the house with a spring in his step, excited for what the day might bring.

When he entered Central Park, the scene reminded him of a fair his grandparents had taken him to once when he was thirteen; loud, bright, full of nice smells and interesting attractions. It was good, and he was ready to let loose and have some fun. In fact, he spotted a ride he had loved when he was thirteen, something called The Scrambler, which whipped and zipped you all round. That was definitely what he was doing first, he decided.

He was finally starting to feel like not everyone was still staring at his chest. He was thinking, thinking about the order of rides to go on maybe. Or maybe he was over thinking that. He probably was but he was never really able to control his mind. He was always over-thinking. He was pulled out of his thoughts when someone walked into him. He looked at the other man and just nodded. “It’s ok.” He said, knowing it was weird that his first thought was to move to put his still damp shirt back on. 

“Well dogs are tricky things. You need that special touch in order for them to actually listen to you.” Wonwoo replied, a small smile on his face. He reached forward again to pet the dog. “I do suggest lessons, especially if you don’t want him to run away like that again. You never know what can happen.” Wonwoo thought of the worst, but shook it out of his mind before smiling nicely at Inho.

Inho nodded “Yeah... apparently my fox-dad enjoyed spreading his seed.” He laughed a little. “Mhm.. my sister can handle herself.” He smiled playfully, “So I’m sure some of it was on her part. She’s a tough cookie really but she’s got a heart of gold.” He knew it was probably strange to feel this strongly about a sibling who wasn’t 100% blood. “We’ve both been on the island 10 years together so I’m as protective as a big brother can get but also I do understand that she can be difficult sometimes.”