“There’s no need to wonder where your God is, because he’s right here… and he’s fresh out of mercy.”
“Hey! You’re not better than us!”
“My sweet ass coat begs to differ.”
“So that's your plan uh? Make me feel feelings and then cut me down a peg? That cuts deep kid... but I respect that.”
“Ah, that's adorable. You think they're a threat. Well, you just sit tight. Show's about to start. Careful though, first three rows are a splash zone!”
“So why don’t you lie down, relax and watch the stars with me?”
“It’s 2 in the afternoon! There are no stars!”
“We must save my family!”
“Oh, feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore. Went cold turkey.”
“I am known by many names. Mountain Slayer. Thunder Lion. The Chocolate Axe. But you, you can call me ___.”
“___, eh? That’s uh, that’s a pretty masculine name.”
“…Well shit, I don’t know how to mock that. OH GOD, that’s never happened before!”
“Uh, okay, then what’s the point of other people if not to mock them?”
“YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE, KID? I'LL THROW DOWN WITH AN EIGHT YEAR OLD! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!”
“You know something? I really hate people! They're selfish, ignorant, loud obnoxious pricks, with basically no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I mean really, look at all they've achieved! Genocide, global warming, reality TV, and just a never ending parade of failures and fuck ups! They are, without question, a complete write-off of a species, and how dare you make me care about them!”
“Have you considered... murder?”
“So, for those of you who came in late, and that one guy playing Bejeweled back there, shoot for the stars! It'll make it more fun when I kick you back into the dirt.”
