Infodump

Arbitrary.

Aside from the fact that it’s a fun-sounding word, it puts the very thing I despise into a single word, or almost. I don’t necessarily hate everything arbitrary, but I do hate when arbitrary things hold people back.

Especially arbitrary rules.

Arbitrary rules make my blood boil.

They hold people back from pursuing their dreams, from making their lives easier, and they’re just plain dumb.

Don’t think this means I hate all rules. They’re great when they’re based on reason and make the world a better place.

Don’t run with scissors, understandable.

Sneeze into a tissue or your elbow, of course.

Use a question mark at the end of a question; we don’t want any miscommunications happening now, do we?

But, “I can’t start a website yet”, “I can’t just go up and talk to them”, “You have to do things the way they’ve always been done”, “You have to post content consistently”, or “You have to have a niche”, are all fake rules made up to limit your own mind.

I’m not immune to arbitrary rules, although I have been working nineteen diligent years to avoid them by being the annoying kid that asks “Why?” whenever I’m told to do something.

I think karma tried to get back at me by giving me a little brother that also does this, but it backfired because now we just figure out the why’s together.

I pester all my friends and family to challenge the made-up rules holding them back whenever I catch them in the act.

But it’s harder to catch yourself.

Whenever I do, I want to yell at the world,“THERE ARE NO RULES!!”, under my breath,“arbitrary ones, that is”.

I find it kind of ironic when people tell me I seem confident because I’m also very anxious. I used to be embarrassed to say I’m confident. You’re not supposed to acknowledge your good qualities for some reason.

But it’s true I AM confident. It's a quality I consistently work on.

That doesn’t mean I’m free of insecurity. I think that’s what holds many people back from being confident. The misconception that confidence is a thing that you inherently ARE, not something that you DO, and that it's final and unwavering.

“One day I’ll be confident” as if you’ll wake up one morning and suddenly have the ability to conquer your greatest fears.

Being confident is a conscious choice that you have to make every day no matter how uncomfortable it might feel. Better yet, the more uncomfortable it feels the more reason to strive for it.

I can always spot a fellow anxious person and often feel a responsibility to give them some encouragement and permission to be themselves. They’re always the most amazing people who just need a little push.

Many confident people feel anxious, it’s normal and human. Confidence doesn’t mean that you don’t feel anxious, it's doing things despite the anxiety.

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with speaking to large groups or new people. I get knots in my stomach, my hands shake, and I ramble. But I still force myself to do it because I love connecting with people and I’m not going to stop myself from experiences I enjoy for fear of what? A tight knot in my stomach? Nah. I’ll deal with it like I would a running nose or a cough.

I don't remember where I first heard the advice, but I remember learning to leave the first page or two of a sketchbook blank.

Starting something new is scary, there's all this pressure to start it perfectly because we think that the beginning is going to determine the middle and the end.

But in reality, it doesn't.

That's why for years I've made a point to purposely begin things badly. Improvement is doable as long as you actually have something to improve.

Everyone almost always sucks at something they start for the first time.

But the hardest part is actually starting it, once you do that, going with the flow is a piece of cake.  

I've had "start a blog" on my bucket list for ages and all it took was twenty minutes to set it up. I was so consumed with my expectations of "starting it perfectly" that I never actually started it.

So today I'm starting this website badly.

I also encourage you to finally start that thing on your bucket list.