✨cookie✨

Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends 

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

I can’t stop giggling. The gif! This whole thing is perfection.

If they cheat the system then they earned it.

Crows reduce the rates of lung cancer by aggressively nabbing cigarettes, news at 11.

fuck it let’s just have public health policy via crows

Folclore brasileiro nas ilustrações de @pdcampos.

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

My parents HATE overwatch because it takes up our entire wifi whenever my brother goes online and when I bought myself the new Zelda my mom was like “can I watch Netflix? or are you playing” and I was like no, no don’t worry it doesn’t take up internet. and she was so relieved and started walking towards the TV in her room and I was like “you want to watch it out here? I can switch to the handheld mode” and she was so impressed that she could watch Master Chef next to me while I played my game. Nintendo is truly the family system.

nintendo paid for this post

blizzard payed for that reply

I paid for my lunch today (one of sandwich, meat ball sub)

did it taste good?

it was very good. thank you for asking :) i hope you have a good lunch tomorrow 

no one coulda reblogged this a month ago when i spent 500

momentsbymarcus

Look at KB coming through

Every time you see this, reblog it. There is always someone in college that will see this.

Reblog if your Daddy is hecka good looking

I have a male superiority kink but I still find half of you fucking stupid.