DAMNED DOG.

❝ what a loaded question. ❞ though your words are grumbled, they're still coated in affection. his burning ambers meet your singular blue and you deliberately turn your head. august knew far too well that he could coax anything out of you with that expression. that warm adoration that sat heavy in your chest. you had half the mind to pinch that lower lip. instead you knock your shoulder against his. ❝ ... i wouldn't let you this close if you smelled bad, dingus. ❞ not a beat later. panic flashes over your features. ❝ w - wait, do i smell bad? is the scent overwhelming? ❞

a  sigh  of  relief  leaves  him  ;  how  embarrassing  would  it  have  been  if  he  smelled  bad?  their  nose  was  much  more  sensitive  than  others  and  he'd  have  taken  off  towards  the  nearest  shower  had  they  said  he  did.  "okay,  yeah,  that's  a  fair  point.  i  still  worry  though,  y'know?  like,  when  you  can't  smell  yourself  but  others  can?"  brows  shoot  up  at  their  questioning  and  hands  rise,  shaking  his  head.  "wha—  no  !"  hands  move  to  their  shoulders,  squeezing  reassuringly.  "rae,  you  smell  so  good.  i  went  in  for  second  sniffs.  i  wouldn't  do  that  if  you  were  stinky."  he  flashes  them  a  warm  smile,  leaning  in  to  sniff  again  to  drive  the  point  home.  "it's  minty  and  fresh.  it  works  really  well  with  you,  i  promise."

' i know that i don't have to. i'm not pushing, i promise. '

but in reality, he was. he was pushing himself because he was trying to keep his brother in tact as much as he could these days. it wasn't exactly hard, but it was draining. making sure that the other was able to be himself, was able to flourish despite what happened, it was all that cillian wanted to do.

' did you eat yet ? i can make you something. '

a pivot in conversation, a change of topic. he was good at that. always changing the subject whenever the current conversation wasn't what he wanted to talk about.

august  wants  to  believe  his  brother  ;  it  would  be  easy  to  nod  along  and  turn  the  other  cheek,  but  something  gnaws  inside  of  him.  it  tells  him  there's  more  going  on  here.  he  had  never  really  understood  cillian's  magic  —  august  had  grown  up  with  it  all  around  him.  in  cillian,  in  their  mother,  other  members  of  their  family.  but  he  didn't  understand  it  in  the  way  it  worked,  what  it  took  for  cillian  to  use  it.  what  he  did  know,  however,  was  that  it  took  some  kind  of  toll  on  the  user.  but  what  happens  now  that  khaelvorn  has  its  hooks  in  cillian?

guilt  ripples  through  him  and  he  forces  a  smile,  though  it  comes  through  as  more  of  a  grimace.  the  change  of  subject  tells  him  enough  —  he  knows  cillian  well  enough  to  know  when  he's  deflecting.

"ah  .  .  .  "  tongue  clicks  against  the  roof  of  his  mouth,  it  suddenly  feeling  dry.  it  takes  another  moment  before  he  can  respond,  feeling  as  if  ash  has  coated  his  tongue.  "  .  .  .  no,"  he  admits.  the  eldest  seo  cannot  remember  when  he'd  last  had  a  meal,  but  he  won't  be  admitting  that.  clearing  his  throat,  hand  rises  to  card  through  crimson  locks,  nodding  gently.  "but  sure,  i  wouldn't  mind  something  to  eat.  what've  you  been  experimenting  with  in  the  kitchen  lately?"

he'll  allow  the  change  of  subject  for  now.  they've  always  been  able  to  talk  things  out,  but  when  it  comes  to  his  death  and  cillian's  deal,  they  always  seem  to  skirt  around  the  subjects.  not  that  he  can  blame  cillian  —  if  he  was  the  one  being  questioned,  he'd  deflect  just  as  much.

bloody lip kisses did you mean

had this been literally anyone else, you would have recoiled the instant august had leaned down. instead his closeness was an odd comfort. skin pressed against his own ... you're grateful that his head was turned in such a way that he cannot witness your shame in the form of wagging tail. ❝ yeah, you could tell? ❞ a completely different brand. it was healthier than what you had you used before, is what you'd like to claim — the subtle mint notes were actually what drew you to it. you breathe deep and shift your good eye to peer at him out of the corner. a ghost of a smile on your lips. ❝ you smell the same. ❞

"smelled  it  from  a  mile  away."  alright,  maybe  not  that  far  away,  but  he  had  absolutely  picked  up  on  the  change  of  scent  the  moment  he  was  within  distance.  he  won't  admit  it,  but  he  nearly  skipped  the  whole  way  here.  he  takes  another  sniff,  then  a  few  more  as  he  really  cements  the  scent  to  mind.  august  pulls  back  slightly  to  look  at  them,  lips  parted  in  surprise  before  a  pout  tugs  the  corners  of  his  mouth.  "oh?  is  that  .  .  .  like  good?  or  is  it  bad?  do  i  smell  bad??"

his hands shake as he holds the other at arms length. blood still covers them, stains the shirt that he holds draped around his brother's shoulders. he was here, back, alive.

what will you give me to bring him back ?

the fey's voice rings loudly in his ears despite it having been hours since it had last spoken. it was gone now, having been given what it wanted and left before anything further could be said or done. but there wasn't a bone in his body that cared in that moment. august was watching him, august was breathing — august was alive.

now golden hues stare, tracing over the features of his twin that are both oh so familiar and also not quite right. but he doesn't care. there isn't anything that could make him care in this moment. in this moment, he had everything he needed in the world.

will you regret this ?

the worlds tumble out of august's mouth and cillian finds his eyes water before he can stop them. a sob rips from his chest as fingers dig into the other's shoulders, nails likely painful as they dig into skin through the thin fabric. it takes only a moment before he yanks the other forward, buries his face against his shoulder and just sobs as he holds onto him tightly.

i'll give you anything. i'll do anything to get him back.

his own words come back as he feels august return the grip, feels the strength behind the hold. anything, in this case, had been the very thing that made him so human. but if giving away his soul, his humanity, meant that he could be together with the only person that ever truly understood him ? it was an easy price to pay.

after a moment, he pulls back stares at his brother for a moment as tears still stream down his face.

' i will never regret this. and i would do it all over again if given the same choice. don't ever think for one second that you are not worth the sacrifice i made. '

i hope you're ready for the consequences of your action.

again the fey's voice rings through his mind but this time it feels more like a direct personal message rather than a memory. shaking it off, he pushes to his feet before reaching to drag august up with him. they both needed to get cleaned up, both needed to get some rest.

tomorrow would come the hard part: coming up with some sort of story for the whole event.

HER © Andrea Passon

don't let go. never let go.

the words don't leave his lips but they linger, heavy on the tongue. after everything that they'd been through, the last thing he wants is august letting go, is august leaving him.

swallowing the bile in the back of his throat, he does his best not to let it show just how hard those words hit.

' i don't mind a little extra affection from my brother. '

own arms tighten around the other's frame, trying his best not to break him, as if he was a piece of fragile glass. a hand presses to the back of august's head, pressing him a little closer.

' you can hold on as long as you need. i'm not going anywhere. '

a series of dialogue prompts from the 2021 dracula re-telling.  feel free to change pronouns as you see fit ! cw; gore, sexual themes, emotional abuse, & toxic relationships

❛ i never dreamed it would end like this. ❜ 

❛ there is no horror left in this world that can surprise me. ❜

❛ eventually, even your death becomes its own sort of inevitability. ❜

❛ i was so happy to be your marionette, at first. ❜

❛ am i sick to still think on you softly, even after all the blood and broken promises? ❜

❛ this is my last love letter to you, though some would call it a confession. ❜

❛ war is never valiant, only crude and hideous. ❜

❛ good. when life fails you, spite will not. ❜

❛ i will raise you out of the dirt and into queenship. and, i will give you your vengeance. ❜

❛ i wanted to break them, even more slowly and painfully than they had broken me, leave them bleeding out and begging for mercy. ❜

❛ water your mother’s flowers with their blood. ❜

❛ in this world, you are what i say you are, and i say you are a ghost. ❜

❛ bloodlust brings on a delirium that’s difficult to describe. ❜

❛ i have loved you too long to imagine you do anything without an ulterior motive. ❜

❛ i’ve never been looked at before. like that. ❜

❛ what is more lovely, after all, than a monster undone with want? ❜

❛ i was your little mouse, kept in a gilded cage until it was time for the cat to play. ❜

❛ i knew nothing except the strength of your arms and the scent of your hair. ❜

❛ your priest’s bedtime stories cannot account for us. ❜

❛ to know oneself, one’s limits and abilities, is its own power. ❜

❛ i was alone, and i was scared. i had no home left to speak of. ❜

❛ and god, how i adored you. it went beyond love, beyond devotion. ❜

❛ i wanted to dash myself against your rocks like a wave, to obliterate my old self and see what rose shining and new from the sea foam. ❜

❛ you turned a strong-minded girl into a pulsing wound of need. ❜

❛ what would you have me do, as ruler? ❜

❛ are you sure you aren’t a holy man come to lecture me on the sins of excess? ❜

❛ i was well-acquainted with violence by then. ❜

❛ but I had never outgrown my thirst for vengeance. ❜

❛ in my mind, i was god’s lovely angel of judgement, come to unsheathe the sword of divine wrath against those who truly deserved it. ❜

❛ you mocked my lofty aspirations, cynical as ever. ❜

❛ when will you give up this ridiculous crusade? ❜

❛ there was a darkness in your eyes and a tightness to your mouth i hadn’t noticed before—or perhaps hadn’t wanted to. ❜

❛ i would never leave you, my love. not for the entirety of my second life. ❜

❛ you seemed to me a fire burning in the woods. i was drawn in by your enticing, smoky darkness, a darkness that still stirs memories of safety, of autumn, of home. ❜

❛ it was like grasping at a flame. i never penetrated to the burning heart of you, only came away with empty, scorched fingers. ❜

❛ whenever we were apart, you left your essence caught in my hair, in my clothes. i scented the taste of it on the wind, I shivered and ached for it. ❜

❛ i was happy to spend countless lifetimes chasing the warmth coming off you, even though the haze was clouding my vision. ❜

❛ my piety was a sporadic, half-feral thing, sometimes lashing out at god with teeth bared, other times nuzzling against his loving providence like a kitten. ❜

❛ i felt my heart tumble down through my ribs and hit the ground. ❜

❛ it tortured me, how perfect you looked. i wanted to pull you behind the carriage and drain you dry. ❜

❛ i wanted to crawl between whatever was blossoming between the two of you and live there. ❜

❛ you’ve found cruelty to be an effective tool. ❜

❛ do you want her for your own? ❜

❛ ours is a solitary existence. it would be good for you to have a friend. ❜

❛ it’s as easy as breathing. one foot and then the other. and don’t overthink it. ❜

❛ you must never overthink any good and pleasurable thing. ❜

❛ you must sit with me tonight at dinner. i must have you close. i want us to be the best of friends. ❜

❛ i think i shall never marry, my lord. i will simply take lovers and never let any man shackle me with wedding vows. ❜

❛ am i to be bidden to my own bed like a dog invited to beg at the master’s table? ❜

❛ desire makes idiots of all of us. but you already knew that part, didn’t you? ❜

❛ there was an uncontrollable fire in you that was hard to look away from, much less resist. ❜

❛ all vampires find some way to stave off the monotony of an endless life, with hedonism or asceticism or a rotating door of lovers. ❜

❛ i’m talking about us, you and i. let’s be honest with each other, for once. ❜

❛ love was no girlhood game. it was an iron yoke, forged in fire and heavy to wear. ❜

❛ laying with you made me feel so vibrantly alive. it was almost enough to make me forget that i was already dead. ❜

❛ this is about your obsession with justice, isn’t it? ❜

❛ i was suspicious, and even more dangerously, i was curious. ❜

❛ i was the love that started it all, wasn’t i? ❜

❛ it has been a long time since i have felt clean. ❜

❛ like christ, i had become intimately acquainted with violence and the sins of the world, but i had not come away unblemished. ❜

❛ but it was not god who spoke.it was you. ❜

❛ you could have kissed me or slit my throat and either would have made as much sense. ❜

❛ i don’t know what I had been thinking, supposing i was strong enough to leave. ❜

❛ you made it into an art form, this quiet sort of violence. ❜

❛ i want to live. but i want to live in the world, not on the outskirts of it. ❜

❛ love is violence, my darling, it is a thunderstorm that tears apart your world. ❜

❛ love makes monsters of us, [ name ] and not everyone is cut out for monstrosity. ❜

❛ [ name], our sunlight, our destroyer. my prince cast in marble and gold. ❜

❛ he was as inevitable as a revolution, and heralded in just as much violence. ❜

❛ potential. you always loved that word. you were drawn to potential like a shark to blood. ❜

❛ look around you. what sort of life is this? ❜

❛ i craved you like maidens crave the grave, the way death burns for human touch: inconsolably, unrelentingly, aching for the annihilation in your kiss. ❜

❛ i still wanted to believe I was living in a fairy tale, that i laid down every night with a prince instead of a wolf. ❜

❛ before your time dear, just some dreadful victorians. ❜

❛ it took every ounce of self-control i had not to pin him down and tear out his throat. ❜

❛ the world has no place for us, we are wanderers by nature, lions among lambs. ❜

❛ we cannot exist only for each other. ❜

❛ i had never allowed myself to want this because i assumed it wasn’t a possibility. ❜

❛ i love you. look at me, [ name ], my jewel, my wife. i love you. don’t do this. ❜

❛ i was tired of waiting expectantly at your tomb every night for you to rise and bring light into my world once again. ❜

❛ i made you into my private christ, supplicated with my own dark devotions. nothing existed beyond the range of your exacting gaze, not even me. ❜

❛ i apologize if you were expecting contrition, my lord. i don’t have any to muster. ❜

❛ here's your demon, do what you will with him. ❜

' you worry too much. '

it's not meant to be rude, nor is his tone meant to be so tired, but august had always been like this. always worrying about this and that when it came to cillian. he lets out a soft huff, though lips do quirk into a small smile.

' i'm fine. if something was seriously wrong i'd tell you. '

@infernamutt

he  doesn't  worry  enough,  he  fears.  august  should  be  fussing  over  cillian  some  more  after  what  happened.  but  cillian,  despite  all  of  august's  efforts,  was  incredibly  independent.  had  the  accident  hadn't  happened,  august  would  have  believed  cillian  would  have  been  fine  without  him.

"right."  august  tries  not  to  frown,  head  turning  to  look  off  to  the  side  (  and  to  hide  the  pout  ).  "you  need  to  rest  more,  kiki.  i  don't  .  .  .  please  don't  push  yourself  more  than  you  have  to—  not  that  you  have  to  at  all,  by  the  way."