PAY THE PRICE

august  wants  to  believe  his  brother  ;  it  would  be  easy  to  nod  along  and  turn  the  other  cheek,  but  something  gnaws  inside  of  him.  it  tells  him  there's  more  going  on  here.  he  had  never  really  understood  cillian's  magic  —  august  had  grown  up  with  it  all  around  him.  in  cillian,  in  their  mother,  other  members  of  their  family.  but  he  didn't  understand  it  in  the  way  it  worked,  what  it  took  for  cillian  to  use  it.  what  he  did  know,  however,  was  that  it  took  some  kind  of  toll  on  the  user.  but  what  happens  now  that  khaelvorn  has  its  hooks  in  cillian?

guilt  ripples  through  him  and  he  forces  a  smile,  though  it  comes  through  as  more  of  a  grimace.  the  change  of  subject  tells  him  enough  —  he  knows  cillian  well  enough  to  know  when  he's  deflecting.

"ah  .  .  .  "  tongue  clicks  against  the  roof  of  his  mouth,  it  suddenly  feeling  dry.  it  takes  another  moment  before  he  can  respond,  feeling  as  if  ash  has  coated  his  tongue.  "  .  .  .  no,"  he  admits.  the  eldest  seo  cannot  remember  when  he'd  last  had  a  meal,  but  he  won't  be  admitting  that.  clearing  his  throat,  hand  rises  to  card  through  crimson  locks,  nodding  gently.  "but  sure,  i  wouldn't  mind  something  to  eat.  what've  you  been  experimenting  with  in  the  kitchen  lately?"

he'll  allow  the  change  of  subject  for  now.  they've  always  been  able  to  talk  things  out,  but  when  it  comes  to  his  death  and  cillian's  deal,  they  always  seem  to  skirt  around  the  subjects.  not  that  he  can  blame  cillian  —  if  he  was  the  one  being  questioned,  he'd  deflect  just  as  much.

magic was always easy for him to use. like their mother, it flowed from his fingertips as easy as water from a raincloud. there was never a time that it hurt him in some way, never a time that it made him have to pause before using it again. but ever since khaelvorn had sunk it's claws into him, had taken it what it wants, it had felt more like his magic came as if breaking a dam each time. it didn't stop him from using it, but it certainly was more difficult.

he notes the grimace, knows that august can sense the deflection, but he's thankful that his twin doesn't bother asking further, doesn't push. if nothing else, they both knew when to bite their tongues.

' auggie, you have to remember to eat. '

it wasn't like cillian didn't miss meals but he'd noticed that august was often the one to forget to eat. it worried him. what exactly had changed in his body since being brought back ? the younger twin tried not to think about the differences too much but alas, he couldn't always help it.

' i've been trying to make better pancakes. fluffier. like those viral japanese ones we keep seeing. '

a smile tugs at his lips as he turns towards the kitchen, moving to grab hold of what he'd need.

' i think i'm almost there. but i need your opinion on them. '

𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 -

01. avoids eye contact or looking at the floor. 02. wringing hands together in silence. 03. fidgeting with the hem of their shirt, unable to stay still. 04. looking at receiver in long silence before looking away. 05. silently leaves a folded note on the table in front of the other. 06. touches the others arm but pulls back out of guilt.

𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 -

01. slams fist onto a table without saying a word. 02. exhaling sharply through their nose and clenching their jaw. 03. throws an object across the room. 04. crossing their arms tightly, digging fingers into their own skin. 05. pacing the room with heavy steps. 06. glares at the other with a clenched fist.

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 -

01. gently pushing stray hair behind the others ear. 02. resting their forehead against the others. 03. cups the others face with both hands. 04. pressing a kiss to the others forehead in silence. 05. lingering touches against the others face. 06. wraps their arms around the other from behind and rests their head on the others shoulder.

𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 -

01. wiping their eyes before someone can notice. 02. pressing their face into a pillow to muffle sobs. 03. pulls the other into a desperate hug and wont let go. 04. silently reaching for the others hand, needing comfort. 05. walks into the room with red-rimmed eyes and no words.

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 -

01. spins the other around without warning in a hug. 02. links arms with the other and tugs them along happily. 03. provides the other with a handmade gift. 04. tackles the other in a sudden and joyful hug. 05. kisses the others cheek unexpectedly and grins.

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 -

01. backing away slowly and looking for exits. 02. hiding behind the other and peeking around. 03. flinches at sudden movement from the other. 04. presses their back against the wall with eyes darting around the room. 05. jumps at a noise and instinctively grabs the others hand.

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

01. tucks a blanket gently around the other person's shoulders. 02. applies a bandage with slow and deliberate care. 03. brings them food and water and watches to ensure they eat. 04. runs fingers through their hair in efforts to soothe. 05. rubs soothing circles on the others back while they cry. 06. stays silently by the others side in support without saying a word.

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠

the botanical gardens had always been one of the few places where jaehyun felt entirely anonymous. there was something comforting about wandering winding stone paths beneath climbing roses & towering conservatory windows, camera hanging loosely from his neck, stopping every few steps to photograph things most people walked past without noticing ( a single dew drop balanced on a fern, sunlight filtering through glass, moss reclaiming an old stone bench ). it was only after lowering the camera from his eye that he noticed someone several feet away. they had paused beneath a blooming wisteria archway, entirely unaware that the afternoon light had wrapped itself around them so perfectly it looked almost painted. not posing, not even looking toward him, simply . . . existing.

what a beautiful thing, nature was. cillian had almost forgotten what it was like to take a breath and just relax out in the world. with everything that had gone on in recent years, everything that continued to happen, it was hard for him to take a moment and just be. standing beneath the wisteria archway, he allows himself to relax. he was here to take photographs for the gardens ( they wanted some new professional shots for their brochure ) but that didn't mean he couldn't take a moment to relax and enjoy what was around him.

the snap of a camera brings him out of his stupor and he blinks as he turns towards the speaker. practiced smile appears before a small laugh escapes him. ' no need to apologize. i understand. ' own camera is lifted briefly to show before he rests it at his side again. golden gaze drifts over the image. ' it's lovely. i'd love to have it. '

he  doesn't  worry  enough,  he  fears.  august  should  be  fussing  over  cillian  some  more  after  what  happened.  but  cillian,  despite  all  of  august's  efforts,  was  incredibly  independent.  had  the  accident  hadn't  happened,  august  would  have  believed  cillian  would  have  been  fine  without  him.

"right."  august  tries  not  to  frown,  head  turning  to  look  off  to  the  side  (  and  to  hide  the  pout  ).  "you  need  to  rest  more,  kiki.  i  don't  .  .  .  please  don't  push  yourself  more  than  you  have  to—  not  that  you  have  to  at  all,  by  the  way."

' i know that i don't have to. i'm not pushing, i promise. '

but in reality, he was. he was pushing himself because he was trying to keep his brother in tact as much as he could these days. it wasn't exactly hard, but it was draining. making sure that the other was able to be himself, was able to flourish despite what happened, it was all that cillian wanted to do.

' did you eat yet ? i can make you something. '

a pivot in conversation, a change of topic. he was good at that. always changing the subject whenever the current conversation wasn't what he wanted to talk about.