boo boo the fool

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

i just apolitically killed the king like i have no agenda or whatever im just the jester here but i stabbed him anyway LOL all the courtiers and advisors are trying really hard to figure out who did it LOL all of them wanted him dead but they dont know whose scheme it was so nobody can promulgate a coherent political maneuver based on the circumstances LOL just playing my lute #MyLute

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

Explain.

are you five nights at fucking kidding me

Who dare disturbs Dog of Randall the jeweller

we need to keep this circulating so it can find the people who are about to stay up for 3 to 4 hours

Speak softly and carry a big dick

2019 me had it right