I still got you
Art Credit goes to Danhu with the handle Kawells00 on twitter.
Dimitri X Reader During the war
No gender implied reader
Hurt Dimitri Comfort Reader
Word count 1865
Dimitri used to be a lot of things back when the monastery wasn’t… in ruins and with only 1/4 of the original population. He was polite, chivalrous, practical, he used to be funny! Even if he wasn’t trying to be, but that version of him is gone and buried underneath all his baggage. To most, they only see Dimitri as the man he became and not who he was. Someone calls him a boar, multiple people call him a bloodthirsty man, whispers that he’s too far gone… and maybe they’re right? He’s vengeful to the highest degree. He mumbles under his breath his desires to have Edelgard’s head, he’s obsessed and deranged, he doesn’t care for the former allies he slices down in battle, he’s every trait that can be in correlation to the word spiteful. But surprisingly, you still choose to stand beside him from his choices to in battle.
He hates it. He hates how you look at him with your unwavering loyalty, how quickly you rush to cover him in battle even when it’s not needed. The man is a walking killing machine damnit, he doesn’t understand your devotion to him, dare he even say you might be in competition with his own right-handed man, Dedue. You do things even Dedue is incapable of doing. He is willing to die in battle for his highness, but he can’t find the words to encourage the others to follow Dimitri’s lead. He can only do so much to convince the prince to take care of himself. Even the professor realized she can only help from a distance.
He hears how you defend him against the dimming hopes of his comrades, how you preach the words of a false future of the real Dimitri coming back one day, to revert to his original form like he once was back in the monastery. But he also sees the look in your face whenever he lashes out at you, the way your shoulder slumps whenever he tells you it’s only a matter of time before you betray him or end up dead on the field. He’s not trying to hurt you, but he also isn’t trying to spare your feelings either. He doesn’t think of people’s feelings anymore; he thinks of bloodlust, the screams of the dead, and everything else that keeps him up at night—
A knock on his chamber doors breaks his endless thoughts. He doesn’t feel the need to open it, but persistent knocks piss him off enough to finally move. ‘What?” He opens the door with a quick yank only to see you. “Dimi—“ your face automatically scrunches up as you try to force it back to normal. “It’s been a few months since we all… reconnected, and we just HAPPENED to notice you lack taking frequent baths…” you tail off, trying to avoid his gaze. “When you DO take them, they tend to be very short…?” He crossed his arms as a horrifying second passes.
“Why have you been tasked to tell me this?” He didn’t sound embarrassed or anything; it’s like his hunger for blood removed such trivial feelings from taking place. “Well, it’s starting to… affect other people?” His singular eye narrowed; he stared so intensely you were only anticipating the wind of air from the door being slammed on your face when he let out a scoff. “And do you truly think a monster such as myself deserves to enjoy a bath while my men are out there getting murdered?” He stepped closer, his voice raising in frustration, not aimed at you but at the fact he’s not out there fighting.
“Even if you don’t think you deserve small luxuries such as these, you still need them.” Who knows the cause of his little to no protest? Was it the fact that you were the one asking? Or did he truly miss being able to feel water scrubbing away dirt and grime and not just the minimum amount of water to wash off the fresh blood after battles? Whatever it was, he met your gaze. “I’ll only get dirty again when the next battle comes.” “We can wash it off then too.” You softly reassure him before he bends and nods. “I’ll go, but wait outside as a lookout for bandits.” He… actually agreed? Being so delighted, you don’t even question his demands.
The walk to the bathhouse was a silent one. He kept his eyes ahead, not daring to look over at you or the ruined monastery around them. He missed the reactions of his classmates watching him willingly go take a bath accompanied by the sacrifice they voted on. Once you two reached the doors, he gave you a quick glance before heading in by himself.
Turning around, you wait patiently. He stripped himself clean of his dirty clothes and tossed them aside, finding no reason to treat the blood stain fabric kindly. He sat on one of the stools provided and poured water over himself. It was easy at first, but his arms quickly started to feel heavy, exhausted even. Maybe not physically, but mentally, the action of taking care of himself was more tiring than fighting whole battalions. So he sat there holding an empty bowl for god knows how long before you decided to peek your head in. “Everything okay in here?” Your eyes landed on his not even damp figure. His gaze didn’t meet yours, his head low with his body caged in itself. Every part of it screamed he was ashamed to even be in this position.
“I can’t do it…” His voice came out low and defeated. He couldn’t look at you. He was so… something, not pitiful. NEVER that he hated that word and would rather die than have it be associated with him, but… what other word was there to explain the sight in front of you? A man who lost everything, who expected the worst, who didn’t have a reason to push on, who couldn’t even bathe himself? Was there even a word for such a sight? Your body reacted before you could think, walking in and closing the door behind you.
“Can I bathe you?” You ask softly, not wanting to push new boundaries, ones that he had consent to before, but now that everything was different. “Why… would you even want to fifthly your hands touching me?” “Please? I genuinely want to. I wouldn’t be offering otherwise,” his head finally turns to face you. He wants to say no so badly, but he doesn’t even have the energy to stand up, much less actually scrub both him and his hair clean. “Do whatever you want,” he gives in, taking the bowl from his hands. You pour the hot water on his head first.
It takes another pour for his head to fully be wet. You work slowly at first, waiting for him to revoke any consent, but to your surprise, he doesn’t seem to push you away. You gently scrub at his scalp, working to remove the dirt piled up. His head leans very subtly towards your working hands in longing that he refuses to speak of, you notice you always do.
The hair on the back of his neck stands up the moment you start to run your hands through his locks, trying your best to detangle what you can without discomfort. The disappointment is clear on his face when you stop. He doesn’t say anything at first until you pour water over his chest. His back straightens instantly.
“Should I do this for you?” You ask before actually touching his chest but he doesn’t respond. Washing someones hair is one thing… but scrubbing his scar covered body? Is a different kind of intimacy one he doesn’t think he can handle ever again. Does he deserve such kindness? His mind goes through countless reasons why he shouldn’t be allowed this moment of somewhat peace when your voice cuts through it silencing it if just for a moment “You can finish the rest or we can just sto—“ No! Even if he doesn’t think he deserves to be rewarded by your touch he wants to be selfish one more time. It’s been over five long years since he felt your touch, since he felt the warmth of other people.
“Just do it” he spits out with his voice harsher than what he intended almost demanding to outsiders but you know better. Dimitri doesn’t say please anymore he doesn’t speak kindly this was the closest thing to actual vulnerability in the months since you two reconnected you got from him. You start to scrub his body starting with his chest before moving to his back. His body is scattered with battle scars in various shapes, sizes, and depth, hidden from other people.
embarrassment is a feeling he forgot he could feel in years until he saw you lower yourself to wash his legs. Had he not hid from your gaze you wouldn’t have believed it for yourself. When you finally pull away he slowly stood up along side you. There are no words exchanged he doesn’t even meet your eyes again but a slow nod is all the acknowledgment you get. You don’t push for a further reaction as he turns around grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist before leaving to get changed in new clean clothing.
Looking down you just notice you’re now dirty from cleaning him no biggie you turn around to prepare the things for your own cleaning when he came back with new clothes. He watches silently as you get new supplies “I’ll be waiting for you outside” he suddenly speaks “Are you sure? I might take a while I prefer longer baths” he crosses his arms with that defiance stance like usual “Yes, I’ll be on the lookout for bandits.” He leaves you standing with no chances of arguing back to wait outside and give you your privacy
“Bandits… in the monastery?” You finally question it more to yourself than him. true to his word he waited right outside the door until you peaked your head out. The walk back to the dormitory was quiet, just as you pass his room you expect him to come to a stop but he keeps walking. “Wait where are you going?” You ask suddenly jogging to match his pace again. “Your room is further up.” He states like it was common knowledge that he WANTED to see you make it safely back… who knows if that was his real intention of walking you to your room but you made the decision to yourself that it was.
“Good night Dimitri.” You turn around to say your goodbyes and as usual his only response is a grunt as he walks away. Finally hitting your back against your bed you think of Dimitri again. He was once the guy you had stolen kisses with in-between class periods, …then you were told and believed he had been executed, to now seeing the man you mourned over. Who knows if Dimitri will ever be fully capable to love you like that again but you’re willing to try.






