(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Doctor Who getting cancelled during pride month has to be like, double homophobic

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

The what???

???

I don't know what to tell you man.

rip doctor who, long live doctor who

if I start rewatching it from the very beginning (An Unearthly Child) today, do we think they’ll have rebooted it again by the time I get to The Reality War?

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

at some point in your life you will be bringing sugar and butter to boil for toffee and you will think “it hasn’t thickened enough.” that is the devil talking. the toffee needs to cool before it can set. this is how you end up with toffee that will annihilate your mouth. learn from this folly.

hey incredibly specific ask: does anyone have a reference photo of the bit of Emperor's New Groove where Yzma says "I'll turn him into a flea"? I think I might want to sew that flea as a plushie

Thank you!! That's the flea!

I did not expect y'all to like this flea this much, I would have made the effort to actually change out the bobbin and thread on my machine if I thought this many people would see it (oops lol) Does anyone want the pattern? The legs are a little finicky to turn right side out but it's a really simple pattern with just two pattern pieces

always thinking about that Oxford study that found half of adults define "young people hanging around in groups" as "anti-social behaviour"

My supervisor keeps cutting off my sentences and while I could respectfully ask him to stop interrupting me during meetings, I hate him and his stupid misshapen head and my new tactic is to let him finish his sentence and then restart my sentence from the very beginning and keep doing that again and again until I get to the end of my sentence. This is not a mature or professional way to conduct oneself in a workplace but it is: Deeply Fucking Funny because he gets so impatient so fast

I'm not kidding like you can see him grit his teeth and you see this muscle twitch in his jaw and it is hysterical. He's so angry he wants me dead but strangling me at work would be way less professional than whatever juvenile bullshit I'm doing

I maintain this could be vaguely sexually interesting if he were hot but he isn't. I'm suffering worse than Christ over here