mother/daughter sadomasochism is a must

doing anything creative and posting it for other people to see is like—i don't care about the numbers because i have integrity as an "artist" or whatever but it's also disingenuous to pretend like they don't affect me at all. i do recognize patterns as to what gets people's attention, and it probably slightly affects my fucking "artistic vision," but that's impossible to completely avoid. clearly, considering the wild unmarketable shit i've been making, it's not actually motivating me to censor myself. except it is, in small ways that no one but me would ever notice! but ultimately very little of it would exist without the external validation i get from posting it in the first place, so i rely on it as a positive motivating force. which is also negative. oh god is it negative. the only thing i hate more than making a film is not making a film. greetings, court of public opinion! here's some awful miserable shit i made up, feel free to kick it around for a bit and then move on to the next thing. i do this as a form of self-harm and i feel strongly that it is the only thing in my life worth doing

the next big smp will be called kysmp, named after what you'll want to do after watching it

everyone loves my irredeemable momdaughter perversions which sprung out of nowhere fully formed and did not develop as a result of anything in particular. nobody is psychoanalyzing me i'm famously very emotionally stable