#prince igor

“i can’t stay here forever,” ivar mumbles while caressing igor’s head. “i don’t belong here…”

“but you do belong here! with me; with katja…” igor sniffles as he tightens his arms around ivar. “please don’t leave me…”

-

ivar stares at the cup in his hand, the slight reflection of his face looking back at him. he wanted to leave. at least that was what he thought.

“you have that look on your face,” hvitserk interrupts the thoughts of his little brother. he looks at ivar, his head slightly tilted. he wanted to know what ivar was thinking.

ivar lifts his head and huffs, “what look?”

hvitserk laughs. “you always have that look on your face when your heart is battling with your head.”

“huh?”

hvitserk sighs and sits up properly. “you’re used to thinking rational. you make decisions based on your brain—“ hvitserk jabs his finger against his temple. “—you ignore your feelings when making decisions. but sometimes you don’t want to listen to your head so you battle with yourself. and right now is that moment.” hvitserk plops a piece of bread into his mouth while ivar only stared at his older brother.

“your head tells you to go back to kattegat. that’s your home. that’s where you were born. it’s only logical to return and something inside you yearns to get back but you also don’t want to leave igor and katja. but staying here doesn’t make sense to your head,” hvitserk further explains, ripping off another piece of bread with a shrug.

ivar opens his mouth to disagree but hvitserk cuts him off, “katja is having your child, ivar. igor basically is your child already and everyone can see that you both love each other very deeply. you found a family here, ivar. something i’ll never have and you’d be a fool to leave it all behind.”

there’s a hint of sadness in hvitserk’s eyes and a heavy sigh escapes his lips. “you don’t want to leave ivar. you think you need to leave. that’s a big difference.”

“you have me, hvitserk,” ivar says in a quiet voice, suddenly shy. hvitserk had ivar. ivar was his family. why would he need anyone else?

hvitserk lets out a breathless laugh. “maybe. but i don’t have a wife. i don’t have children. i have nothing. unlike you. you always had everything…” he averts his gaze, embarrassed by the way he was laying himself and his feelings bare in front of his little brother.

ivar watches his brother as he stands up and stretches his back. when hvitserk walks past him, ivar grabbs his leg. the older one stops and looks down.

“i am sorry,” ivar says, his voice trembling. “it’s my fault—” a tear rolls down his cheek. “it’s my fault you’re alone. and i still don’t understand how you could forgive me…”

hvitserk blinks at ivar, not used to the youngest to be so emotional. then he crouches down and grabs ivar’s neck to pull him closer. “no matter what, ivar… i would always forgive you. you’re my brother.”

another tear rolls down ivar’s cheek as hvitserk presses a kiss to his forehead. “i love you.”

-

it’s almost midday when katja slips into igor’s room. “you need to get up,” she softly says while sitting down at the edge of the boy bed. “you can’t stay in your room forever.” her smile is gentle as her hand finds the way into his hair.

“i don’t want to get up,” igor mumbles and turns around, his back facing katja. “why should i get up?” his voice was trembling and she could see that the boy was close to crying again.

katja lets out a weak sigh before pulling her hand back. “there’s someone in the throne room who’d like to meet you. i’ve been told it’s urgent…” she says, waiting for any reaction from igor but he doesn’t move.

she stands up with another sign and walks towards the door. “please igor. he’s someone important.”

igor only moves when katja’s gone. he turns onto his back and stares up at the ceiling before he sits up in his bed. he should get up and get ready. if that someone was really that important he shouldn’t let him wait.

he quickly orders a servant to get dressed and walks out of his room.

-

“i told him someone is waiting for him but i don’t know if he’ll come,” katja mumbles as she comes to a halt beside ivar. “he’s…very upset about your alleged return to kattegat…” she looks at him, but his eyes were trained on the throne.

ivar doesn’t answer. he just stares ahead and hopes that igor would come and that he wouldn’t regret not returning. he told hvitserk he should go back to kattegat without him but his older brother refused. ‘where you go, i’ll go,’ hvitserk said. ‘it’s always been that way and it’ll stay like that.’

then the heavy doors open. “katja,” igor’s voice sounded. “who—” he stops dead in his tracks when he sees who was standing beside katja. “ivar?” his voice is quiet and weak and slowly ivar turns around.

he look at igor, a slight smile playing around his lips. “igor,” he says, waiting for any reaction from the boy.

for a few moments ivar and igor only stare at each other before a sob escapes igor’s throat and he runs towards ivar to throw his arms around him. ivar lets go of his crutch to properly embrace the boy while igor cries into his chest.

ivar feels tears in his own eyes while he hold igor close, pressing a kiss to the prince’s hair.

“i thought you left,” igor sniffles as he pulls back from the hug, confusion written all over his face. “i thought—”

ivar shakes his head and cups igor’s face. “i couldn’t leave you…or katja.” he glances at her with a warm smile. “you’ve become my family igor and soon, i will be a father again. i’d be a fool to leave all that behind, no?” that’s what hvitserk told me.

igor sniffles again before he nods. “and—and what about hvitserk? did he leave?” igor liked the older brother. he was fun, he was laid back. and he always accompanied igor to raid the kitchen at night.

“he didn’t leave,” ivar smiles, pulling igor against his chest again again. “he didn’t want to.”

igor slightly shifts in ivar’s arms and waves his hand at katja, motioning for her to join their hug. she hesitates for a second before ivar looks at her, a pleaded expression in his eyes. slowly she walks towards both of them before also embracing igor in a hug, leaning against ivar.