Incorrect opera quotes

Leporello: Okay, this may come as a shock to you but people don't like to be lied to. Don Giovanni: Wrong. They don't like finding out they've been lied to. Because a lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.

Ferrando: The Count was in the bathroom for two hours practicing his "revenge face" before he set off

Manrico: Count! Bite my entire ass! Count di Luna: What? Manrico: Go legally brain dead from lack of oxygen due to choking on my entire ass! Count di Luna: I… I… What?

Figaro: I can explain! Count Almaviva: Can you? Figaro: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a good lie.

Alvaro: You better have a good reason for this, Carlo. Carlo: Oh, I have several! Alvaro: Alright. Carlo: Pettiness... Carlo: ...and anger. Alvaro: That's it? Carlo: Oh, I also have a deep-seated need for attention.

Don Giovanni: When I was young and straight, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Leporello: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Leonora: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Manrico: Several traffic violations. Manrico: Three counts of resisting arrest. Manrico: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Manrico: Also, that’s not our car.

Count Almaviva: Some people are like slinkies. Countess: Explain. Count Almaviva: Annoying, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. Countess: Countess: Please don’t push Cherubino down the stairs. Count Almaviva: You can’t stop me

Manon: What about my dreams? Des Grieux: Manon, I told you, we can't build you a candy house. It will fall apart, the sun will melt the candy, it won't work.