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Gimli: Top reasons to get married: 1. firmly saying “that’s my elf!” and knock someone out in one punch. 2. love i guess

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Sam: Are you okay-
Frodo: No, next question.
Gandalf: [to Saruman] The last time I saw you, I was hoping it was the last time I saw you.
Alright, listen. You're my fellowship and I love you. But you're all terrible at what you do here. And I feel like I should tell you- I'd fire all of you if I could.
Gandalf
Aragorn: Did you and Gimli have a fight?
Legolas: Gimli had a fight; I was just being perfectly reasonable.

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Faramir: Dad, I had a feeling today.
Denethor: Well, don't, son.
Merry: You need a hobby.
Sam: I have a hobby!
Merry: Being sad isn't a hobby.
Aragorn: What's trending right now kids?
Frodo: Pain.
Gandalf: Boys, can I give you some advice?
Pippin: Absolutely not.
Boromir: Of course I care about all the hobbits equally!
Sam: We were attacked when you were away.
Boromir: Are Pippin and Merry okay???

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You'd be the coolest person breathing if I held my breath.
Legolas, to Gimli
Aragorn: We'll stand together even in life and death.
Gimli: Probably death.
Legolas: Death for sure.
Pippin: Gandalf said I'm a fool, am I?
Merry: No!
Sam: Not at all.
Pippin: Yeah.
Frodo: You're an idiot, though.
Merry: Absolute idiot, though.
Pippin: Yeah, that's what I said.
Merry: How old do you think I am?
Eowyn: Merry, age doesn't matter. You can die at any time.
Eowyn: When I first met you, I did not like you.
Wormtongue: I'm aware of that.
Eowyn: But then you and I had some time together.
Wormtongue: Uh-huh.
Eowyn: It did not get better.

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Sam: We're having the best time, aren't we?
Frodo: I wish I was dead.
Denethor: [to Faramir] You always cease to amaze me.