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Wit: it’s just a joke dude! it’s just one of the most digestible and powerful forms of persuasive rhetoric my guy!

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Shallan: I was so normal and neurotypical today and barely went to the shadow realm at all.

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Shallan: I say please and thank you in front of Wit all the time and he never repeats it.

Shallan: but I call Kaladin an ass-faced mthrfkr one time…

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Kaladin: You do realize there’s a rumor going around that you’re in love with Shallan?

Adolin: a rumour? Are you telling me there are people who are doubting it?

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Paige: do not underestimate my ability to burn it all to the fkn ground

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Adolin: as your best friend -

Kaladin: Syl is my best friend

Adolin, with Dalinar standing behind him: as your best friend -

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Adolin, at a jail: hi, we’re here for Kaladin.

Guard: can I get a surname?

Adolin: oh, you must be the new guy.

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Adolin: what’s the one rule here?

Kaladin: no daring each other to do stupid stuff.

Adolin: and why?

Shallan: because we have no regard for our own well being.

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Cardan: What's the most polite way to phrase "You messed up big time and need to fix this now or else" in a professional correspondence?

Jude: “Hello, I hope this letter finds you before I do.”

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Dalinar: today I realised I was old

Navani: what do you mean?

Dalinar: I fell over while training with Adolin

Dalinar: when he ran over to help I saw genuine fear in his eyes

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Shallan, about to tell the saddest story you’ve ever heard in your life: Okay so funny story actually, when I was a kid -

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Wit: do it scared. Do it stupid. Most importantly, do it bitching and moaning the entire time.

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Shallan: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?

Kaladin: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

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Adolin: some people are afraid to be cheesy. I live my whole life on the charcuterie board

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Adolin: why is Shallan toxic?

Kaladin: well she attempted murder and jumped someone in the club

Adolin: okay and how is that toxic?

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Renarin: you realise that kidnapping Kaladin may be considered a crime?

Adolin: show me the source

Renarin: [big scroll entitled ‘why kidnapping free men is wrong’]

Adolin: I’m not reading all that

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Kaladin: taking a mental health break to focus on my superhero career

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