#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
wallacepolsom
Peter Solarz
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
JVL
styofa doing anything
shark vs the universe
PR's Tumblrdome
@theartofmadeline
Three Goblin Art
Not today Justin
occasionally subtle
Origami Around
oozey mess
Xuebing Du
if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell
roma★
★
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
@incorrectdynastywarriors
Diao Chan: An invitation to our high school reunion! Gee, that's odd, they didn't send one to you.
Lu Bu's Brain: This is it, Fengxian. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past.
Lu Bu: Diao Chan, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
Diao Chan: Oh my God!
Lu Bu's Brain: No, the other secret.
Lu Bu: Diao Chan, I never graduated from high school.
Diao Chan: Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does.
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Zhang Chunhua: Would you like to talk about your feelings, Zhao?
Sima Zhao: No, mother.
Sima Shi: I would, mother.
Zhang Chunhua: I know, Shi.
Sima Shi: I’m sad, mother.
Zhang Chunhua: . . .I know, Shi.
Guan Yu: You know they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Cao Ren and you can see that statement is NOT TRUE! See, normally if you go one-on-one with another general you got a fifty/fifty chance of winning. But I’m a god of war, and I’m not normal! So you got a 25 percent at best at beat me! And then you add Lu Meng to the mix? You-the chances of winning drasticy go down. See, the 3-Way at Fan Castle, you got a 33 and a third chance of winning. But I! I got a 66 and two thirds chance of winning, cuz Lu Meng KNOOOWS he can’t beat me, and he’s not even gonna try. So, Cao Ren, you take your thirty three and a third chance minus my twenty five percent chance (if we was to go one on one) and you got an eight and a third chance of winning at Fan Castle. But then you take my 75 perchance-chance of winnin’ (if we was to go one on one), and then add 66 and two thirds…percents, I got a 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice! Señor Ren? The numbers don’t lie, and they spell disaster for you at Fan Castle!
All spelling mistakes and missing/added words are intentional. Source is Scott Steiner’s promo (aka “Steiner math”) before Sacrifice 2008.
The fact that I’ve never thought about using this speech on this blog shames me.
Guan Yu: You know they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Cao Ren and you can see that statement is NOT TRUE! See, normally if you go one-on-one with another general you got a fifty/fifty chance of winning. But I'm a god of war, and I'm not normal! So you got a 25 percent at best at beat me! And then you add Lu Meng to the mix? You-the chances of winning drasticy go down. See, the 3-Way at Fan Castle, you got a 33 and a third chance of winning. But I! I got a 66 and two thirds chance of winning, cuz Lu Meng KNOOOWS he can't beat me, and he's not even gonna try. So, Cao Ren, you take your thirty three and a third chance minus my twenty five percent chance (if we was to go one on one) and you got an eight and a third chance of winning at Fan Castle. But then you take my 75 perchance-chance of winnin' (if we was to go one on one), and then add 66 and two thirds…percents, I got a 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice! Señor Ren? The numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Fan Castle!
All spelling mistakes and missing/added words are intentional. Source is Scott Steiner's promo (aka "Steiner math") before Sacrifice 2008.
Sun Ce: Ladies and gentleman, welcome to t-t-t-t-t-target! *airhorns*
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Sima Zhao: Good morning everyone! It is a beautiful day! I am so happy! How are you?
Sima Yi: Annoyed.
Zhang Chunhua: Tired.
Wang Yuanji: In disbelief at your attitude.
Jia Chong: Dead on the inside and outside.
Sima Zhao:
Sima Zhao: Guys, please don't ruin this moment for me.
Chen Gong: We need a plan of attack.
Lu Bu: I have a plan.
Zhang Liao: Really?
Chen Gong: What is it?
Lu Bu: Attack.
👀
Zhang Chunhua: Zhao, could you read number 23 for the class?
Sima Zhao: No, I cannot.
Sima Zhao: What up, I'm Zhao, I'm 19, and I never fuckin learned how to read.
Sima Zhao: I feel like I'm gonna cough, but I don't want to.
Jia Chong: Hold your breath.
Sima Zhao: For how long?
Jia Chong: Until you die.
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Lianshi: Lady Zhen!
Zhenji: Hey!
LS: Hey! This is my boyfriend Quan, and this is Quan's boyfriend Zhou Tai.
Sun Quan: Hi.
ZJ: Hey! Oh. Wait, sorry. What's the situation?
LS: What do you mean?
ZJ: How does this work?
LS: Quan is gay but he's straight for me and he's gay for Zhou Tai and Zhou Tai's really gay for Quan. And I hate Zhou Tai.
SQ: It's not that complicated.
ZT: No.
ZJ: Oh. Yeah. Sure. The thing about Wu is I don't understand it.
Deng Ai: Chunhua, you love your children. It’s your redeeming quality.
Deng Ai: That, and your cheekbones.
Sima Yi: I’ve lost my sons, can I make an announcement?
Shopkeep: Of course!
Sima Yi: Goodbye, you little shits.
Chen Gong: Did you know that when you break a bone, it will technically heal back stronger than before?
Lu Bu: So what you’re saying is, I should break every bone in my body until I’m invincible?
Chen Gong:
Chen Gong: Master Lu Bu, please do not-
Zhang Fei: I don't wear pants during a battle.
Liu Bei: It's true, he doesn't.
Guan Yu: He has so much hair we don't realize.
Zhang Fei: I'm like a satyr, down here.
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Cao Cao: merry crimmus
Liu Bei: it's chrisminth
Sun Jian: merry crisis
Sima Yi: happy chrysler
Sima Shi: Father, your blithe way of looking at things…
Sima Zhao: Is wrong!
Sima Shi: Your abilities to love and be loved…
Sima Zhao: Are missing!
Note: added source to tags. It's from Mystery Science Theatre 3000. The episode is 'Racket Girls.'
-Mod Lenz