Incorrect Bartimaeus Sequence Quotes

Bartimaeus: You're stuck in the mind of an insane catatonic magician! Faquarl: What's so bad about that? Bartimaeus: Everything! Everything I just said in that sentence is- is ridiculous!

Asmira: Some people have actually called me the world's greatest assassin. Bartimaeus: Are you one of those people? Asmira: Well, one of them is, yes.

Bartimaeus: Look at you! You've put on some muscle! Nathaniel: [baffled] I did? Bartimaeus: No.

Kitty: Mandrake, just stop! Stop trying to be...whatever this is! Nathaniel: I don't know what to be. Tell me what to be! Kitty: I don't know, just don't be a dick! Nathaniel: It's too late. Look at me. I'm such a dick! Kitty: It's never too late to stop being a dick.

Mr Pennyfeather: *shows Kitty his stash of stolen magic* Kitty:Right under our noses the whole time. Stupid. Mr Pennyfeather:Smart. It was the last place anyone would think to look. Kitty: But if they do look, they'd find them. Mr Pennyfeather:Did you find them? Kitty: No, because I wasn't looking!

Bartimaeus: And I can be so- Kitty: Gross? Bartimaeus: Well- Kitty: Creepy? Bartimaeus: What? Kitty: Ugly? Bartimaeus: Hey! Kitty: Disgusting? Bartimaeus: Well, sure, but more importantly- The point is I can help!

Nathaniel: I love your relentless optimism. Kitty: Yeah, I am a glass-half-full kinda gal. Nathaniel: I really like how you're a people person. Kitty: I love people! I love them so much!

Asmira: Go, I'll hold them off. Solomon: You sure you don't need any help? Asmita: Certain. Solomon: [hurt] Don't need to be that certain.

Bartimaeus: I never told her to go home! She was all 'I'm going home! Stupid!' Nathaniel: That imitation was pathetic. Bartimaeus: I'm a demon, not a comedian!

Gladys: If you kill him, what does that make you? Kitty: The intolerant left.

Bartimaeus: Faquarl? What are you doing here? Faquarl: I'm as ignorant as you. For once.

Nathaniel: I've really taken an interest in you. We both need to be broad-minded in order to survive. You're the same type as me. Jane Farrar: That doesn't make me happy.