EXPECTATIONS
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@incorrect-rwrbquotes
Alex, on the phone: So remember how I said that henry and I were going to have a subtle night out?
Zahra: yes.
Alex: so we kind of got caught making out. Again? We might need media control.
Zahra:
Alex: Please dont tell Mom-
Zahra: *hangs up*
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alex: nine people told me not to do it.
alex: so I did it.
june: how did you manage to pull a muscle in your neck, back and leg?
alex: no idea
henry: he was trying to roundhouse kick a bee.
henry: do you take constructive criticism?
alex: not without crying
Alex: I don’t think we can enter this bar.
Nora: Why?
Alex: Because it’s 18+ and there’s only two of us.
Nora: Just invite 16 more people, dumbass.
Henry: What is wrong with you?
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Alex: This is a disaster! The printer messed up the invitation! It’s supposed to say “Nora’s birthday”!
June: What does it say?
Alex: "Nora's bi"
June: Still works
June: Are you sugaring your burrito?
Nora: Food is anarchy, dude. Live by your own rules.
Henry: I have a feeling we should kiss.
Alex: I sometimes have a feeling I should do crystal meth, but then I think, "mmm, better not".
June: I was counting on you.
Alex: Well, that’s your fault. I have carefully cultivated a persona that screams, “You’re on your own!”
Alex: This is bullshit!
Zahra: Did you just curse? Because we don’t talk like that in this goddamn, motherfucking White House.
Zahra: Shit.
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Alex: I lose everything. I even lost my glasses
Henry, staring at the glasses on top of Alex's head: I'll help you find them for five dollars
Alex: You're supposed to bump my fist with yours
Henry: Why?
Nora: I love when you two impersonate humans
Nora: My fatal flaw is hubris.
Alex: That brown stuff they spread on veggie sandwiches?
Nora: No, Alex. That's hummus. Hubris is much worse.
Alex: What could be worse than hummus?
Alex: Okay, I can be a little petty sometimes
June: You once edited a Wikipedia page just to win an argument with me
Henry: How do you usually get out of these messes?
Nora: We don't. We just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Alex: Maybe Jesus was gay the whole time and was actually saying "Ah, men."
Alex: I'm not tired. Can a tired person do this????? *gets up and immediately falls over*
