Myths? Yes, but also, No

Achilles: Why though

Chiron: Would you believe me if I told you that there are small beasts all over your skin that are too small to see that will eat you from the inside out if you allow them to get inside of your blood?

Achilles: Probably not.

Achilles, not remembering that other people haven’t been trained by guys who were raised by Apollo: To stop the small beasts from eating his blood.

No he just gets confused with Asclepius sometimes because their staffs look similar.

Apollo: Yes.

Aphrodite: Well that’s just ridiculous. There’s no way.

Apollo: If I tell you how to get rid of them you’ll probably have acne less often.

Aphrodite: …

Odysseus, disguised as a beggar: Well, fair queen, clearly this means that your husband is coming home and will kill your suitors.

Penelope: If only there was a way to tell the eagle to hurry the fuck up.

Odysseus:

Penelope: *dumps a bunch of weapons at Odysseus’s feet*

looks reasonably secure, he’s probably not going anywhere. waterhouse always comes through. 10/10

Ulysses and the Sirens by Herbert James Draper

you’ve allowed too much freedom of movement for his sexy arms!!! he’s aboutta BUST through the ropes and join the choir invisible!!! but i do love the crewmate to the left with the king-wrangling job. i bet that’s eurylochus. 6/10

Odysseus and the Sirens by Alexander Bruckmann

they’re pretending to ask for advice on building wooden horses, and when he jumps overboard to mansplain, that little wristlet is not gonna stop him. 0/10

Ulysses and Sirens by Pablo Picasso

this ulysses is forever trapped in flatland. he will not jump overboard. he knows there is no true escape with the sirens, not really. 7/10

Ulysses and the Sirens by Léon Belly

in 3 minutes this mans is going to be dragging behind the boat like a jet ski. 1/10, there must have been a thought process at least

Odysseus and the sirens (stamnos, British museum)

rope to naked flesh ratio is so funny here but you can’t listen to the forbidden song of the sirens if you ain’t cute <3 9/10

The Sirens and Ulysses by William Etty

i’m sorry, i hate this. what?

fish women want him for his thick ass. only ropes around here are the ones he pulls in the gym. 0/10

Ulysses and the Sirens by Marie-François Firmin-Girard

Achilles: "My Patroclus"

Achilles: *sleeps with Patroclus*

Achilles: *the person he is closest to is Patroclus*

Achilles when his bedwife gets taken: *merely refuses to fight* Achilles when Patroclus is killed: *goes on a slaughter spree*

Achilles, when he finds out about Patroclus' death: *screams so loud he can be heard from the underworld*

Achilles: *demands his ashes be mingled with Patroclus'*

Achilles: *kills a fucking river/ defeats a river god when said god is trying to stop him from murdering Patroclus' killer*

Achilles: *murders Patroclus' killer knowing full well it will result in his death, although he wanted to live in glory*

Achilles: *drags Patroclus' killer around the city of Troy, in the dirt, three times, dishonouring him although he partly admired Hector before Patroclus' murder*

Achilles: *refuses to have Hector buried/sent for burial*

Achilles: *has to have Priam come to him and beg for his son's body for him to return Hector for burial*

Achilles: *prowls the battlefield, wanting death, so that he can be reunited with Patroclus*

also. Aphrodite and Ares were lovers? Don’t know where this sibling thing came from. Aphrodite is the daughter of Kronos. Arès is son of Zeus.

🤷‍♀️ That’s kind of the thing with Greek myth- it’s not a cohesive Canon. Different writers at different time periods in different parts of Greece recorded different oral traditions.

More importantly it’s unavoidable in extremely small populations. When Gaea and Uranos became lovers, there were only like a dozen people, depending on your source, and they were all siblings, children of Kaos. When Kronos and Rhea married, their only options were siblings and cousins. And aunts/uncles and parents.

But also, incest only matters if you have DNA. It’s not a thing for immortals. Which is good cause we’re still all like second and third cousins.