If you're reading this note, it means I'm no longer here. This may come as a surprise to you, but let me explain. I've been depressed for a long time. I never knew how to tell anyone, so I hid it. I bottled everything up inside so nobody would worry. But I've had enough. I'm so tired. Tired of this life, tired of hurting, tired of pretending I'm okay every single day. I'm sorry it came to this.
I want you to know, my death was nobody's fault, it was mine. Please don't blame yourselves, there was nothing you could've done for me. I was too far gone; I have been for a long time. I'm sorry i never said anything, but it never seemed like a good idea to bring it up. I was supposed to be happy, the one who was well adjusted and had everything together. I'm sorry I wasn't who you thought I was. I'm sorry I lied to you all.
To my parents, thank you for taking me in all those years ago. You're the ones who got me through the death of my biological parents, the ones who encouraged my interests. I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me. Words can't express how grateful I am for both of you. I'm sorry I wasn't a better son.
House, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be on your team. It was an amazing experience and an honor to work for you. I'm sorry it had to end like this. If it wasn't for me, Amber would've made it on your team. That's the way it should've been. I'm sorry I ruined everything for you, I hope you can forgive me someday.
Thirteen, I loved working with you everyday. You made things interesting, and you made me enjoy coming into work. We might have had our differences, but you were still my coworker. We were a team. Thank you for putting up with me everyday, and I'm sorry for all the times I upset you. I hope now that I'm gone, you'll be happier at work.
Foreman, you were always the voice of reason. You knew how to get us to work quickly and efficiently, no matter what the day held. Thank you for your amazing leadership. I'm sorry for being so difficult all the time, you'll have an easier time now that I'm gone.
Taub, where do I even start? You were the one person on the team I could call my friend, even if it was just for show. Deep down, I know you probably didn't consider us friends, but it was nice while it lasted. I wish I could've told you how I felt, but I never knew how. I didn't want to hurt you or burden you with my problems, so I kept everything to myself. I really did enjoy when we talked, it made me feel almost normal. Thank you for everything you did for me, I'm sorry I couldn't be a better friend for you.
I'm sorry to everybody who will be affected by my death. I understand that I'm a waste of space, and I'm sorry. I hurt everyone I meet, I ruin everything. There's nothing for me here, I'm a nobody; I'm completely useless and worthless. Nobody saw the broken mess I really was behind my fake smiles and forced laughs. I'm not the same person I used to be, I haven't been for a long time. I always feel like I'm lost, but I don't want to be found. The happy-go-lucky person I used to be is long gone, this cruel world has changed me for the worse. Even in a room full of people, I always felt so alone. I've never really belonged anywhere, I've always been a lost, scared child.Â
But I don't want you to remember me as the person I truly am, remember me as the person I wanted to be, as the person you all thought I was. I'd never survive in this hellish world we live in, so don't be sad that I'm not here anymore. I only ask one thing from all of you: please don't forget me.
I'm sorry for putting you all through this. Thank you for everything you've given to me, even if you don't know what it was. I'll miss you all. Goodbye.
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