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@incorrect-fairytail
Droy, babysitting Gajeel & Levy’s kids: And once we put our seed with the paper towel in the jar into the sun, it’ll grow!
Twin #1: Uncle Droy! I accidentally put a seed in my mouth and accidentally swallowed it. Does that mean a lemon tree is gonna grow in my stomach?
Droy: Well, let’s think about this. Did you also accidentally swallow a wet paper towel?
Twin #1: Yes :(
Droy: …okay let’s get you to Wendy.
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Lucy: So if you’re able to destroy the bandits’ base while we draw them out, we can finish them off!
Natsu: And if I do that, what kind of reward am I looking at? 😘
Gray: The fucking salary we’re being paid.
Yukino: It’s like they say, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”
Minerva: You know, usually when you quote stuff, it’s annoying and I want you to stop, but in this case, very relevant.
Yukino: Thank you! :D I actually have another one —
Minerva: No you don’t
Yukino: No, I don’t
The Witch King's very bad day continues.
Random Bad Guy, after being defeated: Why the hell are you so terrifying?! How is this even possible?!
Natsu, too tired to have any kind of filter: I dunno man, ask Zeref, he made me like this
Random Bad Guy: huh…never thought to blame The Black Wizard Zeref for Salamander…
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Happy human design because I STILL WANT TO SEE IT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Erza, to her son Reiki: Come on, we have a game to go to.
Reiki: Okay fine, who’s taking me to my game?
Jellal: Your Mother
Erza: Your Father
*turns around and whispers*
Jellal: I don’t wanna go
Erza: I don’t want to go either!
Jellal: Thumb war?
Both: 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war
Jellal: Dammit!
Erza: Yes! So glad I married a man with dainty thumbs
Cana: Ugh, how’re we going to get through this week?
Lucy: We could drink.
Cana: No, alcohol doesn’t solve problems, it just makes them go away
YES DADDY, I AM SAT 🧎🏼♀️
My Gruvia Era begins
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Gray: I love Juvia. I would never do anything to hurt her, I swear on my life.
Gajeel: We’re both on suicide watch. Swear on something else.
Lucy: Ugh, I’m so bummed - all that for nothing!
Happy: Lucy, listen carefully, life is a journey…
Lucy: and…?
Happy: That’s all I’ve got. I don’t have advice, I’m 9.
Natsu, eating a random cooked lizard: Mmm…
Happy: No, do not try to tell me it tastes like fish
Natsu: Happy, it’s a lizard. It tastes like lizard.
Erza, teaching Natsu to use weapons: Hit with the weapon! Hit with the weapon you have, stop fucking kicking!
you can run but you cant escape
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Natsu: I knew setting that place on fire was a bad idea, but you goaded me!
Lucy: if by ‘goaded’ you mean ‘told you that under no circumstances should you set that place on fire’, then yes, I goaded you.
Natsu's dad-lore is gonna be insane
"Hey kids, did you know I beat a god-slayer and a God?"
"Sure, Papa."
"Hey dad, we learned about the most powerful dark wizard in school today! His name was Zeref and he lived for hundreds of years!"
"Yeah, that's your uncle."
"Hey dad! Look! We found this book on dragons and dragons slayers and there was this guy named Acnologia! Do you know of him?"
Natsu: *thousand yard stare*
"Daaad, today a classmate said he was friends with a demon, is that possible?"
"Sure hope so considering I've been one"
“Dad, how old are you again?”
“Uhh…why?”
“It’s a thing for statistics, they’re comparing everyone’s parents’ ages. So how old are you?”
“I uh…I dunno.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? How can you not know!?”
“Because my age is complicated okay!”
“You sound like Mom when someone calls her Ma’am”
“Hey, it ain’t my fault that I was born like, I dunno, 600-ish years ago, died for a bit, came back like 200 years later, and time travelled 400 years ahead! And that’s NOT INCLUDING the 7 years me and half the guild spent sleeping on Tenrou Island.”
