; entertain me

So the trip was alright. I fell in love with the back roads of Tennessee, like seriously so beautiful. But with the amount of bug bites I have I'm sure if I put some stage makeup on I could pass for a zombie or some shit.

Irony is a cruel bitch and she's fully at work today. After weeks of avoiding it; I caught what got my mom sick and I'm starting to lose my voice. Why is this ironic though? Well I was appointed to tag along with my sister, as she takes my nephew to camp. A theater camp I once attended and I expect that some bitches who used to bully me will be there. So now I can't show them up when they get on my ass.

So I feel like I owe an explanation I haven't been on much for a few reasons but mainly is that I've lost muse for Milo. I was working on revamping him (yet again) when something else grabbed ahold of my attention and sadly I made new ocs. Secondly and mainly why I've had no muse for Milo is that there has been so much drama on here recently. Granted it's not directed at me; at least not obviously- but my anxiety reads in between the lines and grabs at anything and everything to make me panic and worry that I'm doing something wrong. Bottom line: I haven't felt welcome or wanted on here, and quite frankly I don't like conflict. Nor do I like coming off like an overbearing-whiny bitch, when it comes out that I'm overreacting as usual. Thirdly, I'm just in general a shitty person? I don't know what you want me to say? It's hard for me to approach people, even harder for me to hold a conversation when I'm terrified of offending someone or saying something stupid, and very easily can someone unintentionally take my confidence and crush it. But this is no ones fault but my own, I let this happen, I let this affect me, so don't feel like you're at fault or you've done something wrong. But don't also demonize me now that I've laid out my side of things. I'll officially put the blog on hiatus later when I have time hopefully this mini vacation will help clear my head.

How Jess starts her Friday's: makes herself look like an idiot at work Excuse me know while this becomes my focal point for today...

My mistake wasn't going into work when I feel like at any second I could puke. No my mistake was that in my moment of respite I ate a god damn plum for breakfast. Reason number 52 why I'm a dumbass smh @ myself.

I GET TO GO SEE BARRY MANILOW THIS SEPTEMBER OMFG!!??!? SEPTEMBER CANT COME SOON ENOUGH!!

My one dog is barking and no one is supposed to be home but me... I'm now legitimately terrified something might get me now...

So the kitchen door literally moved on it's own... yeah okay I'm gunna die tonight...

A FUCKING FUR BALL WENT FLYING PAST MY LAPTOP SCREEN AND I PANICKED THINKING IT WAS A SPIDER

I'm gonna harden my heart I'm gonna swallow my tears I'm gonna turn, and leave you here

If I die of heatstroke, blame my mother