March 9th
Aries: Don’t look over your shoulder today.
Taurus: Find the courage to admit you’re scared.
Gemini: Oh, sweet little Gemini. Déjà-vu all over again, isn’t it?
Cancer: You could fix water supply problems with all those tears.
Leo: If you want to kiss a prince, be very careful. They are, after all, very prone to turning into frogs.
Virgo: Hold on tight to something or someone. You just might get blown out into space tonight.
Libra: There is a creature under your bed. You should probably make it an offering. I hear it likes angel cake and Danish butter cookies.
Scorpio: Do you know the story about the Scorpion and the Frog? Maybe it’s time for you to find it.
Sagittarius: Some people run from reality to their dreamland. You, on the other hand, find a shelter from your dreams in the mundane.
Capricorn: How does it feel to outlive your gods?
Aquarius: Your sweet tooth is about to be broken. Make that dentist appointment.
Pisces: Your whole life has been one giant retrograde.
