Bones (et al.) Gerencir

Anyway I ended up landing an admin job with a pest control company, and the pay was pretty alright, but nowhere near enough for me to move into my own place without roommates (I was also being underpaid by about $10 an hour). The work was fine I suppose, we had to deal with Microsoft 365 which was terrible, but I adapted. But every weekend I was having the same existential crisis: what next? What do I do with my money? Save up to travel once a year for my annual leave? Buy more books to read before work every morning? More money meant more options, but the work was soulless and stressful, and when I looked at my options for advancement, the only thing in that future was 14 hour workdays.

I lasted six weeks at that full time job before I quit to go back to freelancing, which never got me enough money to support myself but did give me enough freedom to take care of my mental health. I went through phases of regretting that decision when I'd be sitting at my desk, bored and self-loathing, with nothing productive to do and no goal to work towards. What did I even want to do with my life?

I think my takeaway from the past year is that it's normal to find yourself stuck in the doldrums in the quiet stability that forms after your life is done being completely upended.

Like. Well, I no longer have to worry about my basic survival needs, but I'm still stuck in survival mode. What do I do now?

Happy 60th page everybody! I keep getting struck with existential dread because I'm going to have to rewrite and remake huge portions of chapter 1 to get it ready for print.

I used a photo reference for the car but CARS AND BUILDINGS YEAH