welcome to my world

I have hyper fixated on this song for a good 8 hours now. I look forward to the next 8 days of it living in my head..

#おでかけ #可児川下流域自然公園

カタクリ散策路の奥には、木曽川沿いに公園(といってもあるのはベンチだけ)が整備されているので、家から持ってきたコーヒーとお菓子で休憩。

皆さんカタクリだけを見てそこでUターンしてしまうのか、この公園にはほとんど人もおらず静かです。まあ、特に見るものがないということもあるんですが……。

ちょうどモミジの若葉が出だしている時期で、若葉の生命力に力をもらいます。このやわらかな黄緑色、一年のうちでもほんとに短い間しか見れないので、自分の中では見れたらラッキーな色。色んな落葉樹に若葉が出てきて山がこの色に染まる季節が大好きです。

桜はまだ咲き始めの時期ですが、ここの公園の桜は早く咲く種類なのか、ほとんど散りかけていました。シジュウカラがせっせと桜の木の枝を行き来していて、たまに花びらが落ちてきます。

Midnight Spectacular

Watercolor On Black Paper

2023, 22"x 30"

Creek in the redwoods near Scotia, California. 1924. Marcus E. Jones.

How do you let go?

You're my mom

You're supposed to always be there for me

You're supposed to love me unconditionally

You're supposed to be my rock

You're supposed to be the one I can run to

But you're not

I was the one there for me

I had to love myself unconditionally

I was my own rock

I ran to myself

But how do you let go of the hope?

Maybe you'll change

Maybe you'll wake up and see the hurt

Maybe you'll see the damage you caused

Maybe you'll finally admit your wrongs

But what if you don't?

What if you never change?

Am I still supposed to stay?

Am I still supposed to wait?

Am I still supposed to rip out my still beating heart to please you?

Am I still supposed to ignore the way my chest bleeds because it inconveniences you?

The Distant Falls Hawaiian Archipelago, USA