yes! let this be a sign, let this road be mine, let it lead me to my past and bring me home āāĀ at last.

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@imperialshe
yes! let this be a sign, let this road be mine, let it lead me to my past and bring me home āāĀ at last.

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" Look at you now. All grown up.Ā "
the crown weighs heavy perched on her golden curls, and her gloved fingers trail along the scarlet silk, edging around the glittering jewels and beading she could have never imagined wearing before this week, but her eyes are trained on the family portrait in front of her. anya feels like a new person, surrounded by this foreign opulence, and she wonders if this is what coming home is meant to feel like. itās the sweet smell of orange blossoms, the puzzle of her past fitting together, and the familiar tune of a lullaby that often persuade her it must be, but something is missing. her teeth begin to worry her crimson stained lips and she has to reprimand herself to stop. something tells her that coming home shouldnāt feel so... lonely.
after all, anya has her grandmother and a whole court of people she must have known once upon a time, but even then, she only remembers them in faint pockets of memories, in words that she had heard her father saying once, in the stories vlad and dmitry had told her. she doesnāt truly know them, but itās like a party trick when she does recognize them. so when she sees vlad rounding the corner, how he stretches out his arms, and the note of pride in his voice, anya canāt help the grin that lights her face. finally, someone familiar, someone she knows. that little girl in the portrait is not someone she knows yet.
āall grown up.ā anya echoes back, twirls to prove her point, but her gaze flickers back to the painting on the wall, smile falling slowly. thereās a question on her tongue that sheās been dying to ask. āyou knew them, right? do you think theyād be proud?ā
( doctor who series 7aĀ /Ā accepting! )
stolefromĀ·:
al doesnāt know why his friends even bother asking; itās not as if he knows what to do either. but he started this journey with them, and heāll be damned if he doesnāt see this through to the end.
buying the ancestry tests had been a spontaneous, stupid christmas gift idea, and theyād all spat in their tubes as a joke. they all know where they come from: alās never been anything but uyghur, and his roommate and his roommateās girlfriend have always been russian. ( though al has long joked that some of their russianness has rubbed off on him over the years. )
getting the results back was supposed to be a fun time to learn that theyāre 0.0001% portuguese or mongolian. and for al and dmitry, it was exactly that: al found out that heās 1% iranian and dmitry is - most bewilderingly - 0.3% unspecified east asian. theyād all laughed at that and called these tests absolute shams ⦠and then anyaās results had come in. and they were impossible to ignore.
ā maybe itās a fluke, maybe it isnāt. ā hands folded on his ankles, he rocks on his crossed legs, making the couch groan.Ā ā but if you donāt go for it, youāre going to spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you did. ā
ā anyway, what do you have to lose ? ā
heās right, even if she doesnāt want to admit it. her past is comprised of a fragmented memory here and there, faint and just beyond reach, but on the good nights, she thinks she remembers silvery laughter, strong arms that wrap around the waist of her grass stained dress, and a song that promises a home. just little things, but things that she clings to for when the bad nights arrive and all she can hear is a thundering round of gunshots, see the blurred edges of ghosts scrambling for a non-existent safety as their screams are wrenched from their throats. those are the nights when she wakes up with tear streaked cheeks and her heart pounding against her ribs before she finally relents and calls dmitry at daybreak. her past is a complete and utter mystery, a mixture of memories that she canāt seem to puzzle together, and this is a chance to change that. what does she have to lose?
anya blinks, tries to gather her thoughts as she idly places a hand on alās knee to pause his rocking.Ā āi think iām afraid,ā she confesses quietly, and she shuts the laptop theyāve been studying.Ā āiāve worked so hard building a life here... what if iām not everything i think i am?ā everything iāve made myself to be. she thinks it might be foolish to worry about, but she canāt shake the insistent fear that comes when she realizes that sheās meant to be deadĀ and that amplifies every thought in her head.
and then thereās...Ā āand if itās a fluke, i donāt want to get my hopes up for nothing.ā sheās always known there has to be someone out there, but losing that dream twice might hurt more than sheās braced herself for.Ā āi wish i had your confidence.ā
@russicnrat why do you hurt me :ā( on fatherās day ... when anya already doesnāt have a father
Let it lead me to myĀ p a s t

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SENTENCE STARTERS ā SENSE8 S2E12, AMOR VINCIT OMNIA. tw : language. feel free to change to suit your muses !
ā you canāt keep it a secret. ā
ā itās our secret, okay? please. ā
ā i know what love is because of you. ā
ā how are you doing today? i know you donāt want to answer my questions. ā
ā thereās no going back. not for you, not for me, not for any of us. ā
ā still donāt trust me? ā
ā give us a reason to trust you. ā
ā you helped us once. what we canāt figure out is why you stopped. ā
ā there is no one in the world i have known better. ā
ā you had your past lives. i had mine too. ā
ā when i put that ring on your finger, i made you a promise, and iām going to keep that promise. iām going to marry you. i canāt believe in a future where that doesnāt happen, because it would be no future at all. ā
ā [name]ās not doing anything until [name]ās had a fucking cup of coffee. ā
ā how can a child be this brave? ā
ā thereās nowhere to go from here except home. ā
ā i have no home. ā Ā
ā one bullet ends all this shit. ā
ā you look a lot like this woman who kicked my ass a couple times. ā
ā are you saying you miss me, [name]? ā
ā iāve been staring at this screen for so long even my glasses are sore. ā
ā no more carbs in the house! ā
ā i am definitely not panicking, but i just received a very, very worrying email. ā
ā [name], if iām caught by these men, they will kill me. ā
ā i donāt know about you, but iām not good with heights. āĀ
ā and here i thought i was the one with the big secrets. ā
ā i love you, [name]. and this feeling hasnāt gone away or been changed by learning that the woman i love is so much more than the woman i married. ā
ā vive la rĆ©sistance, or how you say in english, fuck off. ā
ā is it easy for you to sound like a creepy villain or is it something you have to work at? āĀ Ā Ā
ā we both know that if i pulled this trigger, no one would shed a tear. ā
ā the smallness of your life is nothing to fear, only pity. āĀ
ā [name], i pray that one day we will emerge from this darkness. ā
ā letās nip in the bud all this nonsense about dying. ā
ā come on. pull that fucking trigger. you chicken-fucking shit! come on, show me your certainty! you cockless fuck, do it! ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
ā do you think we have any chance of surviving this? ā Ā
ā sorry, lover, this is goodbye. ā
ā never been to paris. i hear people fall in love here all the time. ā
ā [name], most men wouldnāt have done what you did for me. iāll never forget it. ā
ā [name], you are so much more than the man i thought iād married.Ā āĀ
ā i never knew what it was like to have people in your life that would fight for someone like me. thank you. ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
ā after everything weāve been through, would any of us go back to the world weāre used to? ā
ā oh my god! i canāt believe youāre here and not in a lot of little pieces. ā
ā let me guess, this is your āthis is hopeless, [name], turn back nowā speech? ā
ā youāre not a revolutionary, just another collaborator. ā
ā someone will survive this war. that someone will be me. ā Ā
ā my wife! youāre a killer! can you teach me? ā
ā first, this isnāt a real gun, itās a taser. ā
ā well, is anyone going to do anything? or are you just going to let me die in your arms? ā
ā stay with me. you said i couldnāt give up. you canāt either. ā
ā to think i might never have kissed these lips again. ā
ā sir, the day i met your daughter was the best day of my life. ā
ā thank you for being my family. ā
ā iām afraid of things pretending to be permanent because nothing is permanent. āĀ
ā i can think of no better life than watching you change, evolve and grow. ā
ā inside your arms is the only place iāve ever felt like i was home. ā
for @russicnratā
the curtains are wide-open, and the inkiness that always follows at sunsetās heels bleeds into the room. with her shoulders hunched and her head bowed, anya curls in on herself. she sits on the floor with carefully-labelled manila folders fanned out around her, splayed open to reveal their contents in disarrayed piles. the sound of the door opening makes her start, and she turns, looking up.
ādmitry.ā in her lap, she wrings her hands, one hand shifting over another. her voice heavy and quavering and her eyes red-rimmed, anya says in a near-whisper, āi donāt think we can have kids.ā
šššš šš šššššš'š šššš.
ā if i were the dowager empress, i would want you to be anastasia. ā
ā you would? ā
ā i would want her to be a beautiful, strong, & intelligent young woman. ā
ā is that what you think i am? ā
ā i do. ā
u know what makes me cry..... that one van gogh quote about life changing for the better..... āmany people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. and it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, āwhat do i care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.ā yes, evil often seems to surpass good. but then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. one morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. and so i must still have hope.ā yeah..... Crying....
how to turn away ? how to close the door ?

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@russicnratāā asked :Ā ā yes, youāre very smart. shut up. ā
āthe cousin drank, the duke was short -ā she falls into a furious silence as dmitry cuts her off. with a huff, anya rises from her seat. her boots loud as they smack against the scuffed marble floor, she stomps over to dmitry. leaning forward, she hisses,Ā āi wasnāt talking to you.ā after weeks of vlad and dmitry foisting all this knowledge upon her, she thinks sheās lucky to have remembered the whole thing the last four times she recited it. saying these facts out loud is like chasing a shadow: thereās something magical about telling herself this story, like maybe sheāll finally be able to find her place in the world. with every repetition, she feels a little more like the grand duchess anastasia nikolaevna romanova. robbed of the opportunity for another perfect recitation, anya spits indignantly, āi thought you wanted me to make sure i got this right.ā
( Ā doctor who series 7a startersĀ / accepting! )
@stolefromāāāā asked :Ā ā i bet my life on it! āĀ Ā
Ā Ā Ā āso you really think i'm... her?ā anya has always been an optimist, clinging to hope with an impenetrable grip with bright eyes set to the future, but staring into the face of the girl she supposedly was is almost too much. that girl is foreign to her, left in another lifetime that she doesnāt recognise, and the estimated death date beneath her picture scares anya even more. how can she be anastasia romanova-- a heiress presumed dead? and after all of these years of searching for her family, a single click has laid out her entire history in faces she scarcely remembers and deaths she never got to grieve. it feels unreal, and although she appreciates his faithful certainty, itās not enough to calm the doubt festering in her head as she hovers hesitantly over one of the few remaining members-- her grandmother.Ā ādmitry thinks i should contact someone, but i donāt know... this has to be some kind of mistake. i donāt know what i should do.ā
(Ā princess bride starters / accepting!Ā )
DOCTOR WHO SERIES 7AĀ sentence meme (7B here). feel free to change context/pronouns/etc as necessary.
They say you can help.
Who told you about me?
So, how much trouble are we in?Ā
I did make you a souffle but it was too beautiful to live.Ā
Iām sorry, there werenāt any good questions left.Ā
Are you real? Are you actually, properly, real?
Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?Ā
Donāt lie. I know when youāre lying to me.
Pretty soon sheās going to try and kill you.
Okay, Iām counting three lost causes. Anyone else?Ā
The basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me.
Donāt you dare say that to me. Donāt you ever dare.Ā
You dreamed it for yourself because the truth was too terrible.Ā
Why do they hate you so much? They hate you so much.Ā
You think Iāll just let you leave without me, after what weāve just been through?
Iāve no idea what it is. Do you want to find out?
Why canāt you just phone ahead like any normal person?Ā
Look, you need to learn some manners.
Oh, I never talk about myself with a gun pointed at me. Letās talk about you.
It isnāt your choice. Itās mine.Ā
No. No debts. You donāt owe me anything.Ā
I just worry thereāll come a time when you never turn up. That something will have happened to you and Iāll still be waiting, never knowing.Ā
No, come on. Youāll be there till the end of me.Ā
I knew youād find me eventually.Ā
Make peace with your gods.Ā
I see ākeep outā signs as suggestions more than actual orders. Like ādry clean onlyā.Ā
Why would he want to kill you? Unless heās met you.Ā
Oh, so youāre not even a tiny bit curious?Ā
Why would I be curious? Itās a mysterious space cowboy assassin. Curious? Of course Iām not curious.Ā
Heās lying. Every word, every thing he says, itās all lies.
War is another world.Ā
Looking at you is like looking into a mirror, almost.Ā
We can end this right now. We could save everyone right now.
When did killing someone become an option?
Donāt you see? Violence doesnāt end violence, it extends it.
For what itās worth, I know youāre going to save us.
Justice doesnāt work like that. You donāt get to decide when and how your debt is paid.
Iāll find you. If I have to tear this universe apart, I will find you.
I have to face the souls of those Iāve wronged. Perhaps they will be kind.
Look at you now. All grown up.Ā
Look, what you do isnāt all there is.Ā
Somebody was talking, and I just said yes.Ā
Some left me. Some got left behind. And some, not many but, some died.
No, no, no. I mean, Iāll be better at it this time. I miss you.
These people are precious to me. And I will defend them to my last breath.
There was a time, there were years, when I couldnāt live without you.
This is one corner of one country in one continent on one planet thatās a corner of a galaxy thatās a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond.Ā
You are giving off some very strange signals.Ā
Whoa! Whoa! What kind of a welcome do you call that?
Things to do, worlds to save, swings to swing on.Ā
Thereās something different about you, isnāt there?
Only you could fancy someone in a book.
I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesnāt have to end. I hate endings.Ā
Beware the yowza. Do not, at this point, yowz.
Once we know whatās coming, itās written in stone.Ā
Are you an archaeologist as well as a detective?
Didnāt you used to be somebody?Ā
Nothing is gained by you being a sentimental idiot!
I wonāt let them take him.Ā
Even if you got out, youād have to keep running for the rest of your life. They would be chasing you forever.Ā
To save you, Iād do anything.Ā
Together or not at all.Ā
Look, next time, could we could just go to the pub?Ā
Stop it. Just, just stop it!
You look after him. You be good, and you look after him.
I will never be able to see you again!
Iām sorry. I didnāt think.
Above all else, know that we will love you always.Ā
Sometimes I do worry about you, though.Ā
Donāt be alone.
ā the princess bride sentence startersĀ ā
āĀ youĀ mockĀ myĀ pain!Ā āĀ āĀ lifeĀ isĀ pain.Ā ā āĀ heāsĀ onlyĀ mostlyĀ dead.Ā ā āĀ iām onĀ theĀ bruteĀ squad.Ā ā āĀ youĀ areĀ theĀ bruteĀ squad.Ā ā āĀ prepareĀ toĀ die.Ā ā āĀ weāllĀ neverĀ survive.Ā ā āĀ nonsense.Ā youāreĀ onlyĀ sayingĀ thatĀ becauseĀ noĀ oneĀ everĀ has.Ā ā āĀ whoĀ areĀ you?Ā ā āĀ getĀ usedĀ toĀ disappointment.Ā ā āĀ youĀ keepĀ usingĀ thatĀ word.Ā iĀ doĀ notĀ thinkĀ itĀ meansĀ whatĀ youĀ thinkĀ itĀ means.Ā ā āĀ iāllĀ useĀ smallĀ wordsĀ soĀ thatĀ youāllĀ beĀ sureĀ toĀ understand,Ā youĀ warthogĀ facedĀ buffoon.Ā ā āĀ thatĀ mayĀ beĀ theĀ firstĀ timeĀ inĀ myĀ lifeĀ aĀ manĀ daredĀ insultĀ me.Ā ā āĀ drop.Ā your.Ā sword.Ā ā āĀ shutĀ up!!Ā āĀ Ā āĀ youāveĀ madeĀ yourĀ decisionĀ then?Ā ā āĀ iĀ betĀ myĀ lifeĀ onĀ it!Ā ā āĀ truly,Ā youĀ haveĀ dizzyingĀ intellect.Ā ā āĀ youāreĀ justĀ stallingĀ now.Ā ā āĀ youĀ guessedĀ wrong.Ā ā āĀ enoughĀ ofĀ that.Ā āĀ āĀ surrender.Ā ā āĀ youĀ meanĀ youĀ wishĀ toĀ surrenderĀ toĀ me?Ā veryĀ well,Ā iĀ accept.Ā ā āĀ iĀ hateĀ waiting.Ā ā āĀ morons.Ā ā āĀ youĀ areĀ wonderful.Ā ā āĀ youĀ seemĀ aĀ decentĀ fellow,Ā iĀ hateĀ toĀ killĀ Ā you.Ā ā āĀ whyĀ areĀ youĀ smiling?Ā ā āĀ becauseĀ iĀ knowĀ somethingĀ youĀ donātĀ know.Ā ā āĀ goodnight.Ā goodĀ work.Ā iāllĀ mostĀ likelyĀ killĀ youĀ inĀ theĀ morning.Ā ā āĀ oh,Ā thereāsĀ somethingĀ iĀ oughtĀ toĀ tellĀ you.Ā ā āĀ thinkĀ itāllĀ work?Ā ā āĀ itĀ wouldĀ takeĀ miracle.Ā ā āĀ hearĀ thisĀ now āĀ iĀ willĀ alwaysĀ comeĀ forĀ you.Ā ā āĀ thisĀ isĀ trueĀ love,Ā youĀ thinkĀ thisĀ happensĀ everyĀ day?Ā ā āĀ deathĀ cannotĀ stopĀ trueĀ love.Ā ā āĀ iĀ diedĀ thatĀ day.Ā ā āĀ weĀ mayĀ asĀ wellĀ dieĀ here.Ā ā āĀ heāsĀ dead.Ā heĀ canātĀ talk.Ā āĀ Ā āĀ asĀ youĀ wish.Ā āĀ Ā āĀ whyĀ didnātĀ youĀ waitĀ forĀ me?Ā āĀ Ā āĀ youĀ canĀ dieĀ slowly,Ā cutĀ intoĀ aĀ thousandĀ pieces.Ā ā āĀ youĀ killedĀ myĀ love.Ā Ā ā āĀ itāsĀ possible. iĀ killĀ aĀ lotĀ ofĀ people.Ā āĀ Ā āĀ yes,Ā youāreĀ veryĀ smart.Ā shutĀ up.Ā āĀ Ā āĀ youāveĀ beenĀ mostly-deadĀ allĀ day.Ā āĀ āĀ inconceivable!!Ā āĀ āĀ letĀ meĀ explain.Ā āĀ Ā āĀ your vote of confidence is overwhelming.Ā ā āĀ whatĀ hideousĀ sinĀ haveĀ youĀ committedĀ lately?Ā ā āĀ willĀ youĀ everĀ forgiveĀ me?Ā ā āĀ thereās a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours.Ā āĀ Ā
With the sun in my eyes you were gone, but I knew even then⦠In a crowd of thousands, Iād find you again.

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