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reallifeschizo

When my therapist asks about the voices

Voices : …..

Me : …..

Voices : Don’t say a word…

Me : (casually talks about the voices)

Voices:

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intosnarkness

Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor don’t feel the need to hunt slow, small humans.

intosnarkness

“We stuffed this pumpkin full of live goats for the T. rex watch him try to get them out with his little fingers.”

intosnarkness

“Turns out the raptors are cage breakers, so we’ve gotten them a series of door handles to manipulate. Little guys just love it.”

tiger-in-the-flightdeck

"The Rexes are incredibly affectionate pack animals, so we were careful to breed multiples. Be sure to come during spring time to watch them go broody over anything even vaguely egg-shaped." "We put the Raptors through target training and now if they are bored, hungry, or just want a scratch under the chin they go to spot near the bars and ring a little bell for attention." "Imprinting after hatching was so common that we now have keepers under contract to care for the animals well into adulthood to prevent them from pining." "The Gallimimus turned out to be just giant Canada Geese, and so fear nothing. Their keeper regularly has to stop them from trying to attack fences, guests, feeding buckets, and the now traumatised pack of Ceratosaurs in the next paddock."

rannulfr

"We also fired Dr. Henry Wu."

lyinar

My brain read all of the quotes in the late Steve Irwin’s voice. And honestly, he would have made a great advisor for Jurassic Park.

little-miss-rasputin-pageant

the poetic cinema in the movie Holes when it shows Kate Barlow in the schoolhouse and drops of water are falling on the book she’s reading and you think the roof is leaking again even though Sam fixed it but then it shows that it’s actually because she’s crying and then Sam walks in and looks at her tear stained face with the softest expression and says, “i can fix that.”

little-miss-rasputin-pageant

blanketfortarchitect

The subplot of Holes was hands down the greatest love story of our generation

black-girl-against-feminism

Had me shook as a kid

thepersonalquotes

mydoctorpotter

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kvotheunkvothe

I have a terrible joke, and I must share it.

So a frog goes in for a loan. He hops up to the desk of Patricia Whack, one of the bank employees, and says, “I want to borrow $500,000.” Patricia says, “Well that’s a lot.” Frog says, “It’s okay, my dad’s Mick Jagger.” “That’s nice,” Patricia answers, “but if you want to borrow that much, the bank needs some kind of collateral.” So the frog takes a ceramic pig out of its little bag and sets it on Patricia’s desk (he looks very smug at this point). He says, “I think this ought to take care of that.” “Uh, let me check with my boss.” So Patricia takes the ceramic pig and goes back to her boss’s office and explains the situation. “And what the hell even is this?” she concludes, pointing to the ceramic pig.

Her boss says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

rainymeadows

THIS MADE ME SCREAM IN RAGE

shesnake

straight vampires are so unrealistic

shesnake

imagine being heterosexual for all eternity.. pass

mxnrique

true blood (2008-2014)

coaltar-of-the-deepers

waggtoon

automatically

when your parents cancel your plans and you’re like “fine”

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infelice

hplyrikz

I can relate to this

feyrealms

venom: *does that thing with his tongue*

iwouldntshowmom

Church is free.

theargonist

I can’t afford it.

vhb1

IN DYING. NOTHING WILL EVER TOP THIS. NOTHING.

thecryptkeeper

a weak fool: no one would fuck the hulk

thor:

ow-dva

LEST WE FORGET

catalogar

“One day we got tired, tired of chasing, of caring, of worrying… Not because we didn’t want more, but because the person didn’t value our efforts.”

— Daniel C. L. (via convertions)

purplebuddhaproject

“Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn’t have. Maybe there’s a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again.”

—

Carol Rifka Brunt

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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loldodgers-deactivated20180416

What if Mike was short for Micycle

fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva

every now and then theres a text post that gets stuck in my damn head. here it is. im never going to be free of micycle

purplebuddhaproject

“I want love to be simple. I want to trust without thinking. I want to be generous with my affection and patience and love unconditionally. It is easier to love a person with their flaws than to weed through them. I want to love the whole person, not parts; and this is how I want to be loved.”

—

Jewel Kilcher

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

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