story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now

whenever anyone picks up my daughter or she goes upstairs, she announces “I ASCEND” it’s the best thing

This was written about me personally. 

I did an experiment. I went to our local grocery store and I apologized to every person I walked past. “Ope! Sorry!” And every single person said, “Oh no, you’re fine!” Nobody asked me what I was sorry for. It was just kind of assumed that I was sorry for existing, and if that isn’t the most midwestern thing I’ve ever heard of, I don’t know what is.

I didn’t think I knew what “ope” meant until you said the phrase “ope! sorry!” and then I was like ‘does everyone not use this phrase’

fake conversations in your head of you venting to someone

Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.

Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes

Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God

He also solidified the idea of rabbits loving carrots when carrots actually carry very little nutritional value for rabbits. The funniest part of that is that the original joke was a reference to a Clark Gable film where Gable munches on a carrot, it was never meant to imply that rabbits love carrots. The Clark Gable reference would’ve been obvious to audiences in the 40s but it has been pretty much lost to time.

Bugs Bunny has too much power and should be feared.

IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE FRED & DAPHNE

FUCK YOU AND YOUR BITTER JEALOUS LONELINESS HOWARD STERN

YES SO GOOD!!!!!

THIS IS A PRECIOUS POST!

Told you Buffy and Iron Bull were cannon

OH MY GOD

Wtf

what the FUCK

SPONGEBOB WAS RIGHT!

is it not common knowledge that the creator of spongebob is also a marine biologist