And you're just a beta bitch

“I breathe drama like oxygen.”

“It’s like Supernatural, people won’t let it die.”

“This music sounds like farts.”

“It’s late and I’m smutting.”

“I’m funny. Learn it.”

“What accessory are you sniffing?”

“I think I’ve been pretty tame. I don’t think I’ve cursed New York’s name in a few weeks.”

“Are you allergic to manners?”

“Acid, my true love.”

“Sorry, I was making pizza and had cheesy hands.”

“Machetying sharks is easier than just going inside.”

“What a day, a dude took a hint.”

“MY BED IS SHAKING!”

“I told the ghost to fuck off.”

“I wasn’t about to get ate by sharks the night before graduation.”

“I just imagined a tub of acid and a dick being dipped.”

“Make up your god damn mind, male.”

“Are we about to watch an hour of men pushing and shoving?”

“Go home bitch, stop playing in the dirt.”

“I got a stomach ache and DIED.”

“Why do you care about sperm in removed uteruses?”

“I’d like to pledge my life to lesbianism now.”

“I don’t need judgmental smiley faces from you.”

“If I didn’t use that so much I would put it on the banned list.”

“Fuck dealing with hair right now, I’m IN NO MOOD.”

“I’ve moved on thanks to Jesus and salt.”

“When did I do that. Why did I do that.”

“I’m gonna cook my food, you judgmental hoes.”

“I broke it off after I won.”

“I can’t believe someone took the microwave.”

“Who takes a microwave from the fuckin’ lobby?”