wen d

If you're wondering why there's so much resistance to the idea of a 4-day work week, or why automation hasn't actually led to people working less like it was supposed to...

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)

Oh this is why every gardening person I know keeps trying to give me the food they grow

it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game

fuck it. reblog this and tell me in the tags what your favorite album is

op I think you may have wildly underestimated american's car tolerance

one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

if you’ve ever thought i’m standoffish, politely distant, or generally hard to befriend, know in your heart that i’m exactly the same in real life. my neighbours just showed up at my door drunk on Canada Day celebrations and told me how desperate they’ve been to meet me for the past few months and then tried to fix the water pump in my basement

one of the neighbours returned today with heavy machinery and gravel and fixed my driveway. i feel like a feral animal they’re trying to coax with little treats

they've told me the gossip which is that a few years back a 70 yr old man collapsed the bridge at the end of my road by driving his tractor over it, lost his tractor in the river, climbed back up the cliff unscathed, walked an hour home, and then the whole road fell into disrepair and all the campgrounds closed and the once popular waterfall down the road became obscure and secret. so like, be the change you want to see in the world. collapse a bridge to chase out the tourists. also you can lose widespread knowledge in under 10 years if one old man collapses a bridge

also i met this bridge collapsing old man on a walk a few months ago and he said to me "you should check out the river at the end of the road, there's a tractor in it!" like he wasn't the one who put it there

Your twitchy and unsteady hands are NOT from an excessive consumption of sugar and caffiene. You come from a bloodline that traces back to mighty sorcerers, your nerves are less suited for activities like surgery and more for the swift and sporadic movements needed to cast spells.

New idea: instead of writing the fic, you come over to my house and I tell you the entire plot while I pace my tiny kitchen. There’s a cup of tea, warm in your hands. The words don’t stop and the affection never leaves your expression.

wait wtf is cream soda

cause when we're creaming and popping...

we’re cropping?

we're peaming

there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach

it always always makes me laugh to swap definite and indefinite articles

Ugh it's so hot today, I'm sweating like the pig

W-woah there! You scared a bejesus out of me!

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

Mountnain Dew

Clarification: I don’t hate this book, I love it, it’s amazing. It’s just that taking a step back and looking it out of context is still really funny. Especially the line “We participated in a genocide, Barney.”

ok but imagine them in their cartoon forms saying this dialogue i’m

can we have some context to this, perhaps?

There are a lot of interesting things about this post but the AK-47 shaped spear is what really got me

This is just as wild with the context