I bought a scale. I own one for the first time since⌠before the pandemic, I think.
I donât think this was a choice motivated by healing.
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@imdoingthisforlove
I bought a scale. I own one for the first time since⌠before the pandemic, I think.
I donât think this was a choice motivated by healing.

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I grew up with very neglectful parents. I rarely went to school, I ate terribly, I was not hygienic, I basically learned almost no life skills. Now I'm trying to get myself together but I don't really know how. Can you help me?
Hi there love :) thank you for messaging us for advice, my name is Shelby and Iâm going to help you out today. :)
Iâm sorry that you had to go though hard times with neglectful parents, I have a very close friend that is in a similar situation like this. The advice I have for you is the following:
Self Care
Love Yourself
Stop Worrying
Stop Biting Nails
Stop Procrastinating
Stop Skipping Breakfast
Stop Cracking Knuckles
Stop Bad Table Manners
Stop Falling Asleep Late
Boost Your Confidence
Nutrition
This app tracks your nutrition, not just your calories
Figure out how much of each nutrient you need
100 of the worlds healthiest foods
The importance of proper nutrition
Quick and healthy recipes
Cheap and nutritious recipes under $3
100 nutrition tips
meal planner
Hydration
Importance of hydration
How to tell you are dehydrated
non-water ways of hydrating
This app helps track your water intake
Calculate how much water you need a day
trick yourself into drinking more water
Skin Care
The importance of hygiene
How to wash your face
Homemade natural cleanser
Homemade natural exfoliants
Natural acne remedies
Habits for better skin
Homemade moisturizer
DIY facial toner
Cleansing the body
How to wash your body
DIY body scrub
DIY body wash
Hair care
How to wash your hair
DIY shampoo
The no-poo method
DIY conditioner
DIY leave in conditioner
Hand care
Give yourself a manicure
DIY hand soak
DIY hand cream
DIY cuticle cream
How to take care of your nails
How to paint your fingernails
Foot care
Basic foot care
How to remove warts
DIY foot soak
DIY moisturizer
How to take care of toenails
How to fix discoloration
Oral Care
How to brush your teeth
DIY toothpaste
How to get rid of bad breath
How to get whiter teeth
foods to eat for better teeth
Tongue cleansing
SPA DAY!
DIY bath bombs
DIY Bath salts
DIY facial mask
DIY hair mask
DIY bubble bath
How to make the towel hat
Relaxing music
Once youâve looked over those links the next set of advice I have for you is some advice on how you can get back on track with not only your self care but life in general.
For starters, Iâm not sure how old you are, but I would highly suggest getting into some therapy to help vent and get more help/support about this whole situation.
Then, Iâd suggest possibly looking to those around you for some extra help. If you have siblings, look to them and ask them for some help. If you donât have siblings, then look to your community and see if anyone is willing to help you out with supplying you with basic needs.
Next, I would suggest looking deep in yourself. Often times when children are neglected my their parents, they sort of have to learn things on their own for example what is a healthy meal to eat. & thatâs not always easy. I think that you should think about things you did when you were younger and see if any of those decisions made an impact on your life (positive or negative.) & look to changes :)
Keep me updated?
Lots of love,
âShelby. (:
I think Iâm coming home
Hey there!
My name is Joseph. I use they/them pronouns. This blog is old, as Iâve been cycling between losing weight and gaining it since 2018. But now Iâm really overweight and need to take back control.
Here are my stats and goals:
Height: 5'3.5"
SW: 190lbs/86.2kg
CW: 250.0lbs/113.4kg
GW1: 225lbs/102.0kg
GW2: 200lbs/90.7kg
GW3: 175lbs/79.4kg
GW4: 150lbs/68.0kg
GW5: 125lbs/56.7kg
GW6: 100lbs/45.4lbs
UGW: 99lbs/44.9kg

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I ate meat for the first time today in a year and three months because I was so hungry and it was what was available; I feel so disgusted with and by myself because that was a living, breathing being with dignity and worth and I just... ate it like it was nothing. My self control really is abysmal, both in terms of how much I eat and, now, what.
Hi yeah Iâm supposed to get sushi on Monday with two friends but like... how do you do that when there are so many calories in sushi? Â Also thereâs even more to feel guilty about when you factor in American consumerism and wasting my parentsâ money that was spent on a meal plan (but I waste that all the time so...) and contributing to the popularization of the consumption of meat even if Iâm not the one consuming it and la la la...
(Also I want to talk about this with someone already which I whack --Â I'm very clearly divided in the parts of my brain that know this is a problem and the parts that think this is fine. Â The biggest problem is figuring out who, exactly, to talk to.)
I counted today for the first time in a long time and I intentionally ate less and I am way under where I should be.
Heâs on a date with the girl he likes and it turns out that she, objectively, is significantly heavier than me. Even I can tell that. So whatâs his deal and whatâs mine? Why canât I eat more if thatâs clearly not whatâs the problem?
Because itâs always been about control. The lung infection is back and my job situation has been super precarious and I canât get people to come to our dorm events and heâs going to die and he wonât date me and I have no control over anything. So Iâm coming home to what I know. And it sucks ass but itâs familiar. Thereâs clarity and focus.
To those of you whoâve championed my recovery, Iâm sorry to disappoint. To the rest of you, Iâm coming home.
Hi um I think Iâm relapsing
I ate so much food today and all I want to do is count. Thatâs it.
If I didnât have a lunch meeting tomorrow Iâd skip or at least do light. But no. Maybe I can get out of dinner.
Becca was skinny and his ex was skinny and I bet this other girl is skinny too. Skinnier than me for sure. (Also, uh, probably a girl, but thatâs irrelevant.)
@thurielangel thank you. I wouldnât be doing this for someone else, not really â I know he doesnât like me and I know the disorder is just using this to try and trigger a relapse and he probably doesnât like me for reasons unrelated to my weight, but youâre right. No person is worth me self-destructing; yet I find myself standing on the edge and having to fight with all my willpower not to fall off anyway.
Also, itâs so easy to say âdonât compare yourself to other peopleâ, but the reality is... we all do it. Iâm certainly not rivaling with them â he is an agent of free will and can love whenever he loves and we are not competing for his love; weâre all just trying to grow and love each other as people. And, yeah, I know theyâre probably not as skinny as they seem, but at least one of them really is super skinny because I thought that about her before I had an eating disorder. I donât know.
At any rate, Iâm sorry about your relapse. I hope you find your way out of this mess and into the light, and I hope I do, too. (Also, for what itâs worth, Iâm nonbinary, so theyâre the only girls in the situation.)
Hi um I think Iâm relapsing
I ate so much food today and all I want to do is count. Thatâs it.
If I didnât have a lunch meeting tomorrow Iâd skip or at least do light. But no. Maybe I can get out of dinner.
Becca was skinny and his ex was skinny and I bet this other girl is skinny too. Skinnier than me for sure. (Also, uh, probably a girl, but thatâs irrelevant.)

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My grandfather doesnât use the word âcaloriesâ when talking about foodâŚhe uses the word âvalueâ instead. I was eating fruit for lunch and he said âif youâre going for a run later you need something more valuableâ. I sat there for a while just thinking about the way he said that. Change out a negative word with a positive one and youâll see start seeing positive change.
this is actually such a smart way for people to think about food
Love this.
Food is fuel!!! Need lots of fuel to work hard
So this is a totally useless rant, but as a skinny girl, Iâm getting extra, extra tired of fat-shaming.
I work for a corsetier at a Renaissance Faire. We sell corsets. Not flimsy bullshit costume corsets; like real, durable, waist-training corsets. Today a woman came in with her boyfriend, so I helped her pick out a corset and try it on. While her boyfriendâwho was decidedly enthused about the whole corset thingâsat watching me lace her in, he told me, grinning, âOf all the good jobs at the Renaissance Faire, I think you have the best.â
I shrugged in agreement. âI touch butts and reach down cleavage all day; I meanâŚâ Because we like to be a bit rakish at the Faire, and, yâknow, itâs true. Tying people into corsets pretty much invariably requires getting handsy.
The couple laughed at that, and the boyfriend said, âThatâs the job I would want!â But then he chuckled again and said, offhand, âOr maybe not; while we were looking at the racks, there were some pretty big sizes on there!â
Our sizes are all done in inches, and the biggest we make is a 46. And youâd better believe our large sizes sell. For a second I wasnât sure what to say to the guyâs comment, but I answered him casually. âWe get a lot of beautiful big ladies in here.â Because we do. âWe make corsets for real women, not Barbie dolls,â I added. Wasnât trying to be smart, just kind of tossed it out there because thatâs the line we like to use when people ask about larger sizes, and because, again, we do.
The boyfriend went quiet at that; I didnât think anything of it, I just kept on lacing. A moment later, he said, a little awkwardly (but sincerely enough), âDidnât mean to be offensive.â
I quickly smiled and brushed it off, said he wasnât, said I was just saying. (Donât want to make the customers uncomfortable, you know?) And that was the end of it. His comment had rubbed me the wrong way, but it wasnât a big deal. Now, I wear a 20-inch corset. Iâm a few cup sizes short of being one of the Barbie dolls. Like his girlfriend, Iâm one of the âhot chicksâ; he doesnât have to worry about offending me by implying that I wouldnât be fun to poke and pull at.
Honestly though, of all the people I fit sexy technically-undergarments to in a day, fat girls are maybe my favorite people to lace up. Because they are just so damn happy that we have stuff that fits them. They are so damn happy that the corsets we make in their sizes are all the same pretty, shiny colors and cool flower/dragon/skull/etc. prints that the smaller corsets are, not ugly beige and boring âgrannyâ colors. They are so goddamn happy that at least one (of several on the grounds) corset shop carries things that they can wear, that they actually want to wear, and that they look fucking awesome in. This is only my second season working, and weâve fit 60+ inch waists and double-K busts. The only people weâve ever had to tell sorry, we donât have anything that fits them, are twelve-year-old kids.
Itâs half-wonderful, half-heartbreaking how excited those women get. Women who say with sad smiles, when we ask if they want to get fitted, âOh, no, you donât have anything that fits me,â and then are stunned when weâre 300% confident that yes we do, and we have options. Women who canât stop smiling and looking at themselves in the mirror after weâve got them laced in.
I had a lady last week whose waist I measured (cinching the tape tight, as per procedure) at 41 inchesâhonestly not all that big. So she picked out a 41-inch corset to try on. I could tell halfway through getting her laced that it was going to be a bit big for her, so I mentioned it and said she might do better to try a smaller size. She started crying on the spot. She was so overwhelmed; she couldnât believe someone had just told her that a 41 was too big. She told me about how hard clothes shopping was for her, how her mother would tell her she needed an XXXL instead of an XXL, how she had recently lost weight but still couldnât wear certain colors because they didnât fit or she wasnât confident enough.
She did end up getting her corset, and after I checked her out she asked if she could give me a hug, so we ended up standing there hugging each other for a minute. While we did, I told her, âDo not ever let anyone tell you any bullshit. You are gorgeous.â She said, âI have a new boyfriend and he keeps telling me that.â I told her he was right, and to just keep telling herself sheâs gorgeous; it was okay if she didnât always believe it, but to keep telling herself anyway. (Thatâs how I talked myself through shit when I had bad anxiety.)
We all know fat-shaming is bad. The stupidity, fatphobia, and misogyny of it has pissed me off since I first became aware of it. But working with clothing, especially as figure-hugging and precise as corsets, has given me a new perspective on itâhow much it affects people and just how shitty it is. Like, what does it say that I had a grown, only average-big woman crying into my shoulder because she was so overjoyed not to be the uppermost extremity of what a manufacturer can clothe?
My job rocks and itâs really rewarding, but sometimes it highlights some of the ugliest shit about society. Iâm so glad I work at a shop thatâs not bullshit about body types and operates with more people in mind than just scrawny white chicks like me. The fat women I work with are a ton of fun to lace up, and theyâre so much more than their sizeâtheyâre cool, theyâre smart, theyâre funny, theyâre sweet, theyâre great to talk to, and yes, theyâre hot. Iâm so damn done with them getting short-changed and shamed by petty fucks who refuse to make them nice clothes, who refuse to even try to work for them, who refuse to consider them pretty. This whole rant was useless and wonât get read, but I had to vent because itâs been driving me nuts.
So actually, screw you, random dude. Fat girls are the highlight of my job.
This made my eyes water
Lynne Cox is an accomplished American open water swimmer. Twice, she held the record for the fastest crossing of the English Channel. Cox was the first woman to swim the Cook Strait and the first to swim the Straits of Magellan and around the Cape of Good Hope. Cox swam the Bering Strait from American soil to Soviet soil in 1987, at the height of the Cold War.Â
Look at her.Â
I know open water swimming isnât really glamorous, but Lynne Cox is arguably one of the greatest overlooked athletes of the 20th century.Â
And quite possibly a mutant.Â
She can withstand water temperatures that you or I would die from because of her training and her bodyâs unique reaction to cold (you know how the blood will leave your fingers and toes when itâs cold, to preserve heat? her whole body does that, pooling her blood in her core and insuring her body temperature stays toasty where it counts).
She funded the Bering Strait swim herself, clearing out her bank account when she couldnât get corporate sponsors. After she succeeded (to almost everyoneâs surprise: if you get in the Bering Sea without serious gear you generally just die) Gorbachev mentioned her during treaty talks with Nixon: âLast summer it took one brave American by the name of Lynne Cox just two hours to swim from one of our countries to the other. We saw on television how sincere and friendly the meeting was between our people and the Americans when she stepped onto the Soviet shore. She proved by her courage how close to each other our peoples live.â
She wasnât just the first woman to swim the Strait of Magellan. She was the first person to make it across.Â
On top of setting multiple world records, she swam a mile+ to the coast of Antarctica, in just a bathing suit, and did not die.Â
Sheâs swum over 50,000 miles.Â
And look at her. This is a photo from when she was young, at the peak of her career and setting records all over the world. She is a great athlete. She is a human who can do things most humans would die trying. Iâm sitting here at 1 AM getting all teary eyed because this is the first time Iâve looked up a photo of her and I am so surprised, so gratified, so overwhelmed to find out that this world record setter, this literal superhuman, has nearly the same body type as me.Â
Since they wouldnât let her be a fantasy creature in a video game, she just did it in real life, I guess.
Anyone who thinks there is just one athletic body type isnât paying attention during the Olympics opening ceremonies.
Her body type is optimized for her sport. The shape of her body and the presence of fat both provide insulation to keep her core warm while she swims.
A lot of open water swimmers arenât this chunky, but thatâs because most of them are actually triathletes, and their body type is a compromise between the ideals for the different sports.
There really is no one way to be fit and athletic. For some reason, we tend to get ourselves hung up on the body type of track and field athletes, especially that of marathon runners (who tend to carry almost no extra fat) as the ideal.
Dude HOLY FUCK sheâs a badass.
When Lynn Cox was training to swim the English Channel at 14, her practice regimen had her swimming off Long Beach pier from 3am-6am each morning and then going to high school. Her coach asked that she be excused from morning gym so that she could have extra time to shower and do homework. Her gym teacher refused to allow it because she believed that Lynn Cox was too chubby and too clumsy to be missing 9th grade gym.Â
And hereâs a joyful, more recent photo of this tremendous athlete.
itâs almost like human body fat isnât evil and is actually an evolutionary advantageâŚ
i mean, if your bodyâs tendency to protect its organs and its homeostatic/homeodynamic state means that it resists the loss of fat in the torso and readily regains weight in that area, but you keep trying to âtargetâ fat there anyway, who is the stubborn and uncooperative one? your bodyâs goal is survival⌠whatâs yours?
that was a rhetorical question and an invitation to critically reflect on your fatphobic indoctrination (which is always also misogynistic and racist), not a set up for cute jokes about wanting to be hot
âskip dinner and become thinnerâ more like âskip dinner and you have an eating disorder please get helpâ
âa moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hipsâ more like âa moment on the lips is okay to have, please take care of yourself in this lifetimeâ
âevery time you eat you delay becoming skinnierâ more like âevery time you eat you give your body the nutrients it needs in order to survive, please keep survivingâ
âyouâll be able to wear whatever you want when you get to your ugwâ more like âyouâll be able to wear whatever you want now because fashion =/= weightâ
âDonât reward yourself with food your not a dogâ more like treat yourself because youâre amazing and deserve happiness
This is actually really helpful thanks
I love this post for how it politely demolishes destructive pro ana/mia mantras i love it
âif you can pinch an inchâ congrats you have skin and flesh like all humans
I⌠I⌠thanks⌠for sharing this cause I needed a lot.. hopefully anyone who follows me and needs can benefit from it tooâŚ
I really wish this was a thing I saw a few years ago, but Iâm glad itâs circulation is moving strong. Just like you my wonderful followers <3<3<3 be brave darlings, I believe in you
Take care of yourself, guys. Eating is good for you, your body needs it or it will shut down. If you feel like you need to get healthier or lose weight, thereâs tons of ways you can do that, that doesnât put your body in danger. NEVER STARVE YOURSELF

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If you are commenting under my posts to advertise your weight loss products, I kindly invite you to fuck off.
Everytime a thinspo blog follows me, i think and hope that following me will be their first step towards recovery. Iâm cheering on you all!