watch closely.

I don’t know John Mulaney’s wife but I trust her

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Some ppl say comedy is dead cause of “political correctness” but like john mulaney did an entire bit on captchas and bo burnham did an entire bit on not being able to fit ur hand inside a pringles can so really anything is possible as long as ur actually funny

Anfnajjrmwlqjfkwifjiwkdnslb

WHAT.

they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

the most painful social interactions are when you miscalculate someone’s meme literacy and reference something and the person/group doesn’t get it and u have to half-heartedly explain it knowing FULL well it’s 0% funny if people don’t have the full convoluted context of the joke and u feel the flames of hell start to lick at ur feet as they all give u a pity laugh