Lilac Vulpēs

First of all, I want you guys to know that we didn’t befriend each other on Facebook ‘cause I was still his student when I mentioned that I found his Facebook account and I didn’t do it afterwards either; however, I still check his public posts from time to time. Yesterday, I went checked his wall as usual and I found a post DEDICATED TO ME, and it’s about a painting he made for me (he sucks at painting tho), and it took him a month. He also said that I was the person he loved the most in this world and how he’s loved me unconditionally since I taught him how to love people. I think I kinda spoiled this surprise, for he thought I wouldn’t see his posts, but I think when I get the painting and the little card he made I’ll still cry like a baby.

— Ernest Hemingway

I don’t think I’m relying on J as much as I used to, which makes me quite happy. Don’t get me wrong, I still love him, very much, not any less, and I know he still loves me with all his heart since he asked whether I wanna visit Hawaii with him next year. It’s just that I’m growing up. I’m being even more independent and I’m trying to be a better version of myself. I’m not sad that often and I don’t cry that much anymore. I’m trying to be comfortable when being me and embrace myself as who I am.

Today our class was rehearsing a performance that we’re gonna present tomorrow and there’s this guy, let’s call him C, saw me being upset in the morning. At noon he just came straight up to me and told me that he was sorry and I was super clueless because he had nothing to be blamed on! Earlier when we were at the basement he sat next to me when there were many seats elsewhere and just kept staring at me. In the afternoon I was practicing a play and the staff didn’t know who he was so I drew him on a piece of paper and he absolutely loved it when I show him haha. He’s pretty cute.

J insisted that I get it checked. I’m worried about him too since he said he was suffering as well. It’s so frustrating that there’s nothing I can do to help him.