¯\_(ツ)_/¯

wow…

so uh, I finally got access back on this account but like.. if there is anyone still here…? I’ve moved to @falsemortal so uhhh, yeah

if any of you have tried to contact me....

feel free to follow me on Instagram or twitter.....

instagram.com/xrtneuh

or

oof. so, hey.

i don’t know what the fuck happened to me this past thursday, but like this tidal wave of emotions hit me in the face and made me gargle it in for a few days.

i was bombarded with feelings of hatred towards myself, cynical intrusive thoughts toward myself and my friends, and the mantra of “you’re not good enough/ you don’t deserve it/ you’re so fucking stupid” playing on repeat over and over.

i felt disconnected from myself, of which, before this, i was feeling better for a long while and haven’t dealt with heavy depressive episodes for a few months.

i think i’ve been working myself way too much, since all i do pretty much is go to one of my places of work, eat, sleep, and repeat. despite both my jobs being around people, i find i’ve lost any form of actual social interaction, at work, i put on the façade that everything is okay and try my best to make everyone happy, even if i don’t get it in return

i turned off my discord on both my phone and computer because i didn’t want to say anything mean or rude to my friends while i was under the influence of this episode or whatever the fuck it was.

i’m just so tired