✨ Whatever ✨

My faceblindness is JUST enough that I'm not certain if this is Hugh Laurie or just a scruffy white guy with blue eyes but he's DEFINITELY doing the Hugh Laurie mouth thing so I'm about 70% certain it is

No that's definitely Hugh Laurie.

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

got told I didn't deserve to be gay because I thought lady gaga wrote money money money by abba. sorry men I am no longer attracted to you as of today. sorry abba sorry gaga sorry women sorry world

Imagine Eva Stratt years after sending her favorite guy to boss around to space. Getting the logs and recordings and finding out that her guy made first contact with sapient alien life and it IMMEDIATELY started bossing him around too. Like what if you surrendered your dog and it got adopted by an alien instantly. Happened to my girl Eva Stratt

Rip to the “leshawna ball original character” believers

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

WTF are those obelisks on the right?…

Tasty obelisk fries..

“It’s digestible” has got to be the laziest goal I’ve ever seen achieved by a food product.

“It’s digestible”

I have learned a new thing today.

Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated

I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.

Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the “it’s digestible” in the gay stuff was a reference to crisco’s tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because it’s main competition came from “enhanced” lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon