Ignore the username, would ya?

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New hair cut

Goth gf: *Light incense as she begins ritual*

*Knock on door*

Emmett/Sean: Sorry to bother you miss but I smelled smoke from 3 blocks away and was wondering if there was a fire?

I see that and I raise you this.

Goth gf: (reading a book about demons at a book store)

Sean: (walking past from the opposite direction, spotted the title and looks over and skims a description) Well that's not accurate at all.

Goth gf: (deeply amused this tall twink in an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt with a white tank top and cargo shorts has opinions on demons) So you're a demon expert.

Sean: (too autistic to realize she's teasing and panics bc he thinks she's onto him) No. Why? Who told you?

Goth gf: (snorts) Well how do you know it wasn't accurate?

Sean: Holy shit what is that?! (points behind her)

Goth gf: what? (turns around)

Sean: (runs away and walks into the door)

Goth gf: (biting back a smile because this man is so dumb) You alright?

Sean: It's a pull door.

Goth gf: Yes. Yes it is.

Sean:

Goth gf:

Sean: look over there!

Goth gf: (trying desperately not to laugh as she looks at him) Yeah that's not gonna work a second time.

Sean:

Goth gf: Would you like to get some ice for your head? There's a cafe here. Or we can get coffee.

Sean: Are you asking me out?

Goth gf: Yes.

Sean: Coffee sounds nice.

-much later-

Sean: And then she asked me out.

Jack:

Mimi:

Emmett:

Mimi: So you Mr. Bean'ed into a relationship with a hot goth girl.

Sean: yes.

Jack: I don't know why you're confused, Mi. Basically the least weird meet cute in our family.

Mimi: (head in hands) My kids are gonna be so fucking stupid.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

both families are directly saying "you were a failure and i've finally found a use for you so you are never escaping us there is no choice in the matter", but as ever, tachonis go about things by killing first and just doing what they like now you metaphysically have no choice in the matter, and halovar have a whole creepy-in-how-bright-and-pleasant-it-is sermon about forgiveness, but they are the exact. same. thing.